Rorschach's Journal, June 4th, 2009

Rorschach's Journal, Thursday June 4th, 2009

Been a long two weeks. Dodging countless motorcycles in town for the Memorial Day holiday. Tourists everywhere. Good for donations, however. Bikers quite generous, actually. Managed a good 200 dollars in hand outs and looking through trash. Collected quite a few aluminum cans to crush and bring in for money.

Able to get James some extra nutritious food and a few more toys. He had shredded what few toys he had. James spent the better part of the last two nights chasing a feathered ball around the apartment. A few times I felt myself on the receiving end of a swat to the head. James was fairly gentle, most of the time, but apparently a few times play had gotten the better of him and he flew around the apartment, barely touching ground.

Been a rainy day in the city today. Not too hot for June, oddly. Promises of severe thunderstorms, however. The radio had informed we were in a flood watch until midnight. All of the spring rains had saturated the ground. I had had enough of rain for a while.

Some door to door religious canvassers had stopped me in the street today to inquire about my End is Nigh Sign. Proceeded to ask me if I'd ever heard of Jesus Christ. To which I questioned if they'd thought I was stupid. Still they were pleasant enough and left me literature about their religion as they patted themselves on their black suited backs and wandered off having spread their word. I deposited their pamphlets in my "special file", the pile of papers I carried home with me to tear up for the cat box. Not that I had no respect for Jesus, just that I didn't believe in their brand of religion. Self centered lip service with no true help for the needy. They hadn't even left a penny in my collection container. So much for spreading the kindness of Christ.

It had been a while since I visited the library and I did owe Dan a letter. It had just been a little over populated in DC due to the holiday and I preferred to collect money and get some good meals rather than sit idly in the Library. I wondered if Miss Dorian thought I disappeared. Besides, I rather hoped to sit down to a coffee with her today. It would be nice to talk to a sincere smiling person for a change.

It was just about quitting time for her, so I made my way over to the library, sign in hand.

Miss Dorian was there. Smiling. I gave her my sign. Signed the log in sheet.

"Good to see you Walter!" She said as she initialed the sign in sheet. "You've not been here for a while, I hope everything is ok."

"Fine, Anita, just been sick a while, then the holiday." I looked around. My usual computer was available so I excused myself to get to work. I wondered, for a moment, why Miss Dorian was always so friendly. I rarely spoke much and never seemed to be that jovial. Perhaps she was just doing her job. Perhaps she was just a nice person. In all honesty, I appreciated that, even if I didn't show it much of the time. It was just so hard to be warm and fuzzy, not after all these years, not after the horrible childhood. There had been no warm fuzzies in my life; I guess it was one of those things that never was ingrained in me. Well, with the exception of James, and well, my friendship with Dan and….good God maybe I WAS becoming warm and fuzzy! For a moment I stopped before reaching the computer and thought about that.

Then I snapped out of it and sat down at the computer and logged in. Checked my email. So many damned spam messages. They angered me. I especially abhorred the male enhancements ads. There was more to life that that! But some treated it as the only reason to live.

Another email from Shari, inviting me again to her party. It would be in a week. On the weekend. I thought for a moment. I shouldn't go. Who would want me there? I didn't even have anything to wear. But then, she was nice enough to include me. I sort of felt protective of her, and I wagered she thought of me as a kind of family, since she was now with no parents. Or perhaps I was just imaging it. Before I could think further, my fingers typed in that I would make it, but not to expect extravagant dress or behavior from me. She had mentioned Rorschach in her letter. She wished she could invite him too, for changing her life. Little did she know, she had already invited him. For a moment I chuckled under my breath.

Now on to Dan's letter. He had written me another small one, relaying some kind of joke and reminiscing a bit. Though it was just a small fluffy email, I did miss his goofy humor. It was good to see he was still his old self.

"Dear Daniel,

It is regrettable that you are going through relationship problems. I recall you had always been a kind and honest person. You are right in saying that I never had trusted Silk Spectre all that much. And you are right in guessing my actual opinion of her. However, I do remember how she stood up for me when Manhattan returned me to this world and I am thankful for that. I am wondering if she is going through some kind of change of life or a mid-life crisis? Sometimes these kinds of things, be they mental or physical, can affect people's behavior. Still I hope for the best for your happiness.

No, I've never watched that television show, American Idolatry, however, the chatter about it on the radio is incessant and annoying. Now that you relay that Laurie is involved with the host I am even more likely to avoid it completely now. As you may guess, I don't watch much television, apart from the news. And even then the news is slanted and corrupted. It's not very reliable. Not like New Frontiersman. I am pleased that after all these years they still publish. I am also pleased to know that you have been reading it! It is one of the only true places to obtain honest news!

And yes, you are correct in your assumption that I have returned to my "work" as it were. You understand, I dare not speak of it in this form of communication."

I paused for a moment, realizing I was starting to sound like a robot and tried to soften the letter a little.

"I am pleased to hear of your sons' excellence at school and that you have raised them up properly. Perhaps they will be the next generation that takes over for us when we are done. I only hope that we can fix the current mess so that we don't leave them something impossible. Perhaps, as my meager legacy, I will leave my “face” to one if they so choose to use it. But as you know, that won't be for a while yet.

As for me, I am making due. I am still living very humbly, taking care of serious situations as they arise, as you know what I mean. I have, believe it or not, made a couple of friends. Women friends at that! Try not to pass out. I've decided not all women are whores and some can be very dependable! I have also obtained a pet and have been having many new experiences caring for him. If I could I would send you a photo. Suffice it to say, he's a brown tabby cat.

Yes, do think often of our now quite large age difference, thanks to Manhattan. I am feeling a bit of my 46 years, however, it cannot compare to over 60 years. Have you kept in shape? It can be harder with sore joints and what not.

I have managed to accumulate a bit of a nest egg and would like to come across country to visit with you and your children, my god-sons. I would like to know, when would be a good time? It may take me a while, however, I think I can manage, and I think the city would be alright without me a while. But barely.

Well, I ought to allow you to get back to your life. Please let me know if a visit is possible.

Also, I am pleased to be in communication with you again.

Sincerely,
Walter"

I wanted to put that I missed him, but hadn't wanted to sound maudlin.

I reread my writing and then, pleased with what I wrote, sent the message and browsed the internet a while. I casually browsed different ways to travel across country. Then browsed sites on cat behavior and the proper way to keep cats out of the toilet.

Finishing my time at the computer, I turned to collect my sign from Miss Dorian.

"Well, Walter, you have a nice day!" She said with a grin.

"Don't you usually get off around this time, Miss….erm, Anita?" I questioned quietly.

"I do but I've got a meeting with the local humane society tonight, so I figured I'd work an extra half hour before going off for the meeting." She paused, "I'd love a coffee though and to catch up, will you be in tomorrow?"

I thought about it a moment, "I'm not sure, actually, perhaps in a few days." I said, admittedly feeling a little disappointed.

"Great! Well then I'll see you then! Have a great day Walter!" She said as I took my sign and left.

I waived at her nonchalantly as I exited the Library. Next order of business, newspapers, food, and drying off. A crack of thunder and a bolt of lightning spurred me to look to the skies a moment, just as hail started to fall. I used my sign to shield my head and I hastily made my way. Would be a wet night tonight. Didn't like to get the "face" wet. Well, maybe I'll make it a short evening.

For now, Rorschach