Rorschach's Journal, 1:47, Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
After a few days of infernally hot weather for spring, finally today it is cooler. I could have done without the drizzle, however.
Been meaning to stop at the library to check my messages. I am sure that Daniel has written to me. Just haven't wanted my visits to become routine. Didn't want to have anyone notice my patterns. Well, perhaps Miss Dorian has, but she seemed trust worthy enough. I had gotten over my initial distrust and gotten used to her presence there.
I was sure that Shari has written to me as well. Apprising me of her plans. Last I'd heard her lawyer was taking care of her estate and that she was in therapy for all the damage done by her parents over the years. She asked for a visit. I will see about meeting her sometime, though not sure when and where and I surely hoped she wasn't going to suggest a fancy place as I don't have the proper apparel for such venues.
I walked along with my sign, my usual route. Found the contents of a pocket at a curb. Someone was probably in a hurry and accidentally dumped out their pocket. Nothing much, a grocery note, a five dollar bill, some coins, a sample sized spray bottle of perfume. Thankfully, nothing of Veidt's swill. His garbage may have been popular, and I confess to have worn it, however, to me now it smelled of corruption and filth.
This stuff smelled nice. It was called Satin. Smelled like rain and cucumbers. I put it in my pocket and earmarked the Five dollars for a meal.
Went to my usual newsstand for New Frontiersman and the Washington Post. The city was abuzz over this Swine Flu. Hadn't made it to DC yet, however, it was all over the headlines. First death in Houston. A baby brought over from Mexico. Bringing fresh germs over. Wondered why they hadn't closed the borders yet. Thought about someone I knew in Houston, hoped she was ok.
Headline under the newspaper fold, Veidt officially denied parole. No surprise there. A photo of him, looking trim and coiffed. That stupid expression on his face, feigned innocence. Made my stomach turn.
I wandered away a few yards when I heard the newspaper vendor starting to yell.
"Hey! That guy just robbed me! Stop that guy!"
A man, light in frame, dressed in black with a black bandanna tied across his face to hide all but his eyes started to run from the news stand. Fool ran in my direction.
Quickly I stuck my foot out as he ran passed. He hit the pavement hard.
"What the hell, get out of my way Mother F**ker." He shouted at me.
I looked down dispassionately and swung my sign downward and hit him with it. It broke in two.
Before I could do anything else, however, other citizens piled on top of him, stopping his movements. I used the commotion to pick up the pieces of my sign and slip off, quietly, hoping not to be noticed.
Crap, need a new sign now. I said as I stood a few blocks away and looked at it. The ply wood had snapped in half. I could probably make an smaller skinny sign, but that would not be very prominent. I frowned as I tore the ply wood off the long piece and tucked it under my arm. It would serve another purpose now. Needed to find another piece of wood and perhaps some paint or a marker.
Wandered home to drop off my sign and pet the cat a while before going out in search of a meal.
The drizzle picked up a bit. Euck, being wet. To compensate, sprayed a little "Satin" on lapel. It did smell good.
For now, Rorschach
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 22nd, 2009
Rorschach's Journal Wednesday April 22nd, 8:16 pm
After a long day of walking in my disguise as doom prophet, I was settling down to read my papers. It had been a rainy gloomy day, not even the afternoon coffee was comforting.
Been thinking about Daniel. Hadn't been back to the library to check email. Been busy with collecting information on how to travel across country. Also busy collecting food and items for self and the cat.
James is getting larger. He's certainly more muscular. I suppose they can't stay kittens for long. I will miss the crazy antics. But he is maturing to be a confident and elegant cat. For now, he continues to enjoy biting my feet. There is nothing quite like being woken up from a dead sleep with fangs in your big toe.
I am reading, in New Frontiersman, about recent murders in Virginia. Man turns gun on self after killing two daughters and wife. The reason, depression.
I frown deeply. I admit, I may not be the model of an average person, but I am confounded that if you have a problem why not turn for help rather than destroy the lives of the innocent? The same with my own mother. Why did she insist on keeping me, when she didn't want me? Was it ownership? The thrill of controlling another life? The idea that perhaps you could handle it but in the end are incapable?
Didn't miss my mother. Did miss HAVING a mother though. A proper one.
For a moment I found myself grinding my teeth and decided to think of something else. Turned to the comic section. Mooch and Earle particularly funny.
Also managed to catch up with local news, especially in regard to the recent gang violence. Luthor “Glassjaw” had been released from the hospital, to go home to family. Spotty memory of that night. Perhaps he’d remember just enough to warn others of me. I hoped that. I hoped that perhaps he’ll stay off the streets now. Perhaps not killing him was lucky for him on more than one level.
Was getting late. Sun had set. Time to go out. Unceremoniously dressed, purple suit, dark trench coat, hat, and my true face. The black on white shifted constantly, ever changing patterns.
I lowered myself from my window with the grappling gun and then tucked it in my inner coat breast pocket.
Felt like finding bad parents tonight; give them a little taste of their own medicine.
Out into the rain.
For now, Rorschach
After a long day of walking in my disguise as doom prophet, I was settling down to read my papers. It had been a rainy gloomy day, not even the afternoon coffee was comforting.
Been thinking about Daniel. Hadn't been back to the library to check email. Been busy with collecting information on how to travel across country. Also busy collecting food and items for self and the cat.
James is getting larger. He's certainly more muscular. I suppose they can't stay kittens for long. I will miss the crazy antics. But he is maturing to be a confident and elegant cat. For now, he continues to enjoy biting my feet. There is nothing quite like being woken up from a dead sleep with fangs in your big toe.
I am reading, in New Frontiersman, about recent murders in Virginia. Man turns gun on self after killing two daughters and wife. The reason, depression.
I frown deeply. I admit, I may not be the model of an average person, but I am confounded that if you have a problem why not turn for help rather than destroy the lives of the innocent? The same with my own mother. Why did she insist on keeping me, when she didn't want me? Was it ownership? The thrill of controlling another life? The idea that perhaps you could handle it but in the end are incapable?
Didn't miss my mother. Did miss HAVING a mother though. A proper one.
For a moment I found myself grinding my teeth and decided to think of something else. Turned to the comic section. Mooch and Earle particularly funny.
Also managed to catch up with local news, especially in regard to the recent gang violence. Luthor “Glassjaw” had been released from the hospital, to go home to family. Spotty memory of that night. Perhaps he’d remember just enough to warn others of me. I hoped that. I hoped that perhaps he’ll stay off the streets now. Perhaps not killing him was lucky for him on more than one level.
Was getting late. Sun had set. Time to go out. Unceremoniously dressed, purple suit, dark trench coat, hat, and my true face. The black on white shifted constantly, ever changing patterns.
I lowered myself from my window with the grappling gun and then tucked it in my inner coat breast pocket.
Felt like finding bad parents tonight; give them a little taste of their own medicine.
Out into the rain.
For now, Rorschach
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 15th, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 15th, 2009 1:35 pm
Tax day. Thought of the freedom from taxes is mixed with me. On one hand, I want to do what's right for my country. On the other, I'm presumed dead and haven't been contacted in years. How can I explain that I've spent my life in limbo from the mid 1980s to 2000?
So no taxes for me. Have been keeping up in New Frontiersman on the Nationwide Tax Day Tea Parties. Citizens exercising their free speech. An American tradition, however got angry at the thought that many will literally dump tea into their local rivers and other bodies of water. How will this protest by pollution solve anything?
Managed to live through the Easter holiday. Local soup kitchen offered a few surprises. Ended up with a few very welcome Easter candies. Reeses' Peanut butter egg and jelly beans. Two favorites. Did manage to pop into a church for a brief time. Thought about going to visit the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, but thought better of it. Difficult to get to without spending money.
James has recovered in the week since my last journal entry. Back to his usual antics. This morning he spent time sitting on my shoulder as I dressed for "work". He is growing. Still gentle and affectionate, however. He is comforting.
Left apartment for the day, wandered for a while through my usual route. My route takes me from my location all the way to the National Mall and around to my favorite news stand as well as to the library. Haven't been to library in a few days. Resisting urge to constantly check email. Nothing yet, however, hoping to hear something soon. Shari has been notifying me of her progress. Usually through very wordy emails. I skim.
After purchasing my usual papers, walked into library. Rude assistant Todd long gone, mercifully.
Left my signs with Miss Dorian after exchanging niceties. She has been a pleasant person to deal with. Nice, after so many years of dealing with nothing but child molesters and drug addicts.
"You're early today Mr. K." She said as she took my sign. I sign the register book.
"Yes, got an earlier start today. Wanted to browse the library for a good book."
"Oh, anything I can help you find?" She said, sounding a little surprised.
"No just want to browse. Perhaps look at the periodicals." I hadn't told her I had no intentions of checking anything out. To do that would require personal information for a library card and I wasn't prepared to divulge any of that. I would read there for a while.
Approached my usual computer station and sat. I was starting to gain some skill at signing on and using internet browsers. It took no time at all to check on my email.
Spam had found me. At first I wondered who these people were and how did they know me, but then realized it was a mass junk email. Spent a few moments deleting emails.
Another letter from Shari. Didn't say much other than getting her hair cut and that the estate was starting to get settled.
Another email caught my eye. From DDStrigidae@yahoo.com. Subject: Hoot hoot.
Quickly opened the message.
"Is that human bean juice?" Was the message in reference to my email address of WKBeanjuice@yahoo.com. The message continued, "Rors, is that you? It's Dan."
These comments would be meaningless to others, but meaningful to us. For a moment I felt my stomach lurch. Finally, my long lost friend. And suddenly felt like I was at a loss as to what to say. I replied, "Yes, it is I. Been looking for you, Daniel. Wondering if you were still alive and well in California."
Left it simple, just in case the police had caught on.
Sat at computer, read over his email a few more times before clicking away and researching something more on the Tea Parties for the day. Reports of people dumping tea in Boston Harbor.
Signed off of the computer and wandered the library a while, found some books on Dante and browsed through them. Interesting man in interesting times. Misunderstood. I could identify. Sat and read excerpts from The Inferno, before deciding to leave for the day.
Needed to purchase food for the cat, check the usual trash cans and read my own purchased papers. Thought about Daniel. Was he still with that woman? Did his kids grow up right and not delinquents.
Wondered how he'd feel if I went to visit. Wondered how I'D feel if I went to visit.
Continued to look for crime along my route. Nothing notable today. Too misty and wet.
For now Rorschach
Tax day. Thought of the freedom from taxes is mixed with me. On one hand, I want to do what's right for my country. On the other, I'm presumed dead and haven't been contacted in years. How can I explain that I've spent my life in limbo from the mid 1980s to 2000?
So no taxes for me. Have been keeping up in New Frontiersman on the Nationwide Tax Day Tea Parties. Citizens exercising their free speech. An American tradition, however got angry at the thought that many will literally dump tea into their local rivers and other bodies of water. How will this protest by pollution solve anything?
Managed to live through the Easter holiday. Local soup kitchen offered a few surprises. Ended up with a few very welcome Easter candies. Reeses' Peanut butter egg and jelly beans. Two favorites. Did manage to pop into a church for a brief time. Thought about going to visit the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, but thought better of it. Difficult to get to without spending money.
James has recovered in the week since my last journal entry. Back to his usual antics. This morning he spent time sitting on my shoulder as I dressed for "work". He is growing. Still gentle and affectionate, however. He is comforting.
Left apartment for the day, wandered for a while through my usual route. My route takes me from my location all the way to the National Mall and around to my favorite news stand as well as to the library. Haven't been to library in a few days. Resisting urge to constantly check email. Nothing yet, however, hoping to hear something soon. Shari has been notifying me of her progress. Usually through very wordy emails. I skim.
After purchasing my usual papers, walked into library. Rude assistant Todd long gone, mercifully.
Left my signs with Miss Dorian after exchanging niceties. She has been a pleasant person to deal with. Nice, after so many years of dealing with nothing but child molesters and drug addicts.
"You're early today Mr. K." She said as she took my sign. I sign the register book.
"Yes, got an earlier start today. Wanted to browse the library for a good book."
"Oh, anything I can help you find?" She said, sounding a little surprised.
"No just want to browse. Perhaps look at the periodicals." I hadn't told her I had no intentions of checking anything out. To do that would require personal information for a library card and I wasn't prepared to divulge any of that. I would read there for a while.
Approached my usual computer station and sat. I was starting to gain some skill at signing on and using internet browsers. It took no time at all to check on my email.
Spam had found me. At first I wondered who these people were and how did they know me, but then realized it was a mass junk email. Spent a few moments deleting emails.
Another letter from Shari. Didn't say much other than getting her hair cut and that the estate was starting to get settled.
Another email caught my eye. From DDStrigidae@yahoo.com. Subject: Hoot hoot.
Quickly opened the message.
"Is that human bean juice?" Was the message in reference to my email address of WKBeanjuice@yahoo.com. The message continued, "Rors, is that you? It's Dan."
These comments would be meaningless to others, but meaningful to us. For a moment I felt my stomach lurch. Finally, my long lost friend. And suddenly felt like I was at a loss as to what to say. I replied, "Yes, it is I. Been looking for you, Daniel. Wondering if you were still alive and well in California."
Left it simple, just in case the police had caught on.
Sat at computer, read over his email a few more times before clicking away and researching something more on the Tea Parties for the day. Reports of people dumping tea in Boston Harbor.
Signed off of the computer and wandered the library a while, found some books on Dante and browsed through them. Interesting man in interesting times. Misunderstood. I could identify. Sat and read excerpts from The Inferno, before deciding to leave for the day.
Needed to purchase food for the cat, check the usual trash cans and read my own purchased papers. Thought about Daniel. Was he still with that woman? Did his kids grow up right and not delinquents.
Wondered how he'd feel if I went to visit. Wondered how I'D feel if I went to visit.
Continued to look for crime along my route. Nothing notable today. Too misty and wet.
For now Rorschach
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 8th, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 9:16pm, Wednesday
Started the morning corralling James for his appointment. Truth be told, was a bit worried for him. But this was something that had to be done. Had put breathing holes in the box I’d brought home the other day, it was ready to transport him. Put his pillow in and then James. Made multiple attempts at putting him in box. Have some new scratches on back of hands. It amazed me how somehow his legs always seemed to find a way to purposely block being placed inside. Ultimately, I won the battle.
James’ feet poked through the breathing holes in the box as I secured the top by folding the four flaps into each other. “Roooooowwwwrrrr” the box moaned.
“James, this is for your own good.” I said to the box as I walked to the sink in the bathroom and washed my scratched hands. They stung a bit, but nothing serious.
Had taken $100 out of my special hiding place and stuffed it into my pocket. The vet’s fee was minimal, since they were a shelter. Their goal was to get the animals neutered, not to make a buck.
Then picked up the box and exited my apartment.
“Oh hello Mr. Novack.” The landlord said as he was exiting his apartment as well with a bag of trash. “How’s that eye there?” He commented with a bit of a friendly smile, “Man you got a real shiner! Does it still hurt?”
I stood holding my meowing box with a straight face, “A little. It’s improving.”
“Oh that must be the kitten in there.” Mr. Rupert said and frowned, “Listen, I’m sorry about that. I shoulda warned ya that he was wild before I gave him to you. The Mrs. told me he tripped you up and that’s why you fell and hurt your face.” He pressed his lips together looking solemn. “If you want, I could take him back if he’s too much trouble.”
I stepped back a moment, “No. I Love him.” Was my simple reply and I frowned a little. And then suddenly felt surprised with myself. I certainly was a man who felt passionate about many things, such as injustice and fair treatment, but it was one of the few times I actually admitted that I had love for another creature. Couldn’t even say that about my own mother.
“Heh heh, I understand, they worm their way into your hearts don’t they? Where you takin’ him?”
“Neutering and check up.” I looked at my watch, “Excuse me, don’t want to be late, Mr. Rupert.”
“Yeah, sure sure, good luck!”
I walked down the hall, down the stairs and out of the apartment complex. It wasn’t too long of a walk to the Humane Society. All the while I was thinking about what I’d said to Mr. Rupert. That I loved the little cat. He actually got my crime fighting obsessed mind off things once in a while. Made coming home more palatable. It took a cat to make me feel more human. “Hurm.” I muttered to myself as I stepped through the door.
“Novacks, 9:00 appointment for James.” I said as I walked up to the receptionist. She smiled as she saw a brown stripped paw reach out of the box and a meow.
“Have a seat, Mr. Novacks the doctor will be with you in a moment.”
The appointment was fairly routine. They took James out of the box and removed him from sight. Told me they’d check him over and then give him shots and neuter him. Expected me back at 4:30 pm with $90. Ten dollars less than what was estimated. I’d use that to buy supplies for the both of us.
Spent my afternoon without sign. Odd sight, Doom prophet without his sign, but I left it back at the apartment. Was able to stop at the store and pick up a few things, and then went to the book store and browsed. A lot of junk at the book store. Too many tawdry materialistic romance type books. “The Devil Wears Prada?” “Twilight”? What on earth were people reading? Junk Food. I ended up with my New York Gazette, Washington Post and New Frontiersman and left.
Made quick phone call to non emergency services. Reported drunken ambulance drivers from night before. Anonymously, of course. Felt good about reporting.
Next on to coffee. It was getting to be a habit, however, I still had that free gift card, so I was fairly unashamed at the indulgence.
“Hey, it’s my partner in coffee!” I heard someone from behind. Miss Dorian had just gotten off work. Honestly I had forgotten that she usually came here after work. My mind had been preoccupied with the cat.
“Good after noon, how was work?” I questioned, raising the corners of my mouth in what for me constituted a smile. Dorian gave me a surprised look and then smiled as well.
“Oh God, horrible. That kid Todd is just the worst.” She said as the end of the line inched closer to the register. “What a slacker!”
“Teens these days, their parents don’t teach them to be respectful. Not like in my day.”
Dorian looked at me quizzically, “I know what you mean. We look to be about the same age, I remember those days well.”
For a moment I’d forgotten I was only 46. In all actually I should have been close to the 70s, closer to Dan Drieberg’s age. I’d grown up in the 50s. Had to be careful about slips of the tongue. Not sure she would understand the complications behind my presence here. Then again, she was a smart person.
“Um one humongous ice mocha frappaccino, heavy on the cream and…what are you drinking Mr. K?” She ordered and then spoke to me.
“Oh no, no, I’ve got mine.”
“Don’t be silly, let me treat you.” She said with a smile, “You take a tall drip right?”
I paused a moment, “Yes, I do.” I said, feeling uncomfortable a moment but letting it go. Was never really one to turn down free food.
Getting our coffee we went to sit, “You didn’t have to do that Miss Dorian, I had….”
“Mr. K, money’s tight for you and besides, can’t a friend buy a friend a cup of coffee?” She said as she sat down to drink. After I doctored my coffee and pocketed some sugar packets, I sat down as well.
“Well, thank you then.” I said and we sat a moment and enjoyed the coffee. “You can call me Walter if you like.” I said. I wanted to say “You can call me Rorschach if you like” but that wouldn’t have worked.
“Well, thanks Walter, You can call me Anita if you like.” She smiled. “No sign today?”
“Brought James to the clinic today.” I looked at her, my face still serious.
“James…oh your cat. Is he ok?”
“Neutering and shots.”
We spent some time discussing James when the proprietor switched the channel on the shop television from the shrill Oprah show to the news. Our attention was averted for a moment at the reports of a small child abducted the night before. I wondered if any of my papers had more details, I’d be interested in reading about the circumstances. I clenched my teeth a moment. “Of course, no one ever knows, do they?” I said with a frown.
“What?” Anita turned to me, “Oh no, I suppose not. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the family was involved. Sometimes family can be the most brutal to each other, believe me I know.” She said as she looked back up to the television.
“So do I.” I said quietly, balled a fist, and finished my coffee. “Anita, I must go pick up James, it is about time.” I said as I looked at my watch. “Thank you for the coffee. I will stop in soon to check my email.”
“Ok Walter, I’ll be seeing you soon.” She smiled as she continued to sit.
Exiting the coffee shop, feeling a little rattled again, I made my way to the clinic to pick up the cat. The surgery was routine and uneventful. Was told James would be groggy and may mess the floor a bit the first night. Not to let him jump for a few days. Wait an hour before feeding. Was given a piece of paper with instructions. Paid my money, took my things and James home. No meowing in the box. I assumed he was fast asleep. I walked gingerly as to not disturb him.
Made my way back up to my flat and placed the box down gently. Opened it to find James looking up at me with groggy eyes. I stroked him from nose to tail and he started to purr. “There there, get some sleep, hellion.” I said as I smiled at him. A second smile today. Hurm. This smile was broader and loving toward my little pet.
I settled down and read my newspapers a while. Read in New Frontiersman and in Washington Post about string of child kidnappings in the area, both in DC as well as Northern Virginia, in the Alexandria area. Troubling. The pattern was right along the borderline and all the children were between the ages of 5 and 7. I wondered if I pressed a few of the local bars if any of them would know anything at all. Hurm, maybe another trip to Benders to squeeze some people. There were a few other bars at which I’d made my presence known. Would have to visit them as well.
Just as I thought about my plan I looked over to find James had gotten out of his box and was attempting to use the litter. He was wobbly on his feet and I ended up having to help him get his back end into the box. Looks like I was to play nurse maid for tonight. Thursday night I start investigating.
For now, Rorschach
Started the morning corralling James for his appointment. Truth be told, was a bit worried for him. But this was something that had to be done. Had put breathing holes in the box I’d brought home the other day, it was ready to transport him. Put his pillow in and then James. Made multiple attempts at putting him in box. Have some new scratches on back of hands. It amazed me how somehow his legs always seemed to find a way to purposely block being placed inside. Ultimately, I won the battle.
James’ feet poked through the breathing holes in the box as I secured the top by folding the four flaps into each other. “Roooooowwwwrrrr” the box moaned.
“James, this is for your own good.” I said to the box as I walked to the sink in the bathroom and washed my scratched hands. They stung a bit, but nothing serious.
Had taken $100 out of my special hiding place and stuffed it into my pocket. The vet’s fee was minimal, since they were a shelter. Their goal was to get the animals neutered, not to make a buck.
Then picked up the box and exited my apartment.
“Oh hello Mr. Novack.” The landlord said as he was exiting his apartment as well with a bag of trash. “How’s that eye there?” He commented with a bit of a friendly smile, “Man you got a real shiner! Does it still hurt?”
I stood holding my meowing box with a straight face, “A little. It’s improving.”
“Oh that must be the kitten in there.” Mr. Rupert said and frowned, “Listen, I’m sorry about that. I shoulda warned ya that he was wild before I gave him to you. The Mrs. told me he tripped you up and that’s why you fell and hurt your face.” He pressed his lips together looking solemn. “If you want, I could take him back if he’s too much trouble.”
I stepped back a moment, “No. I Love him.” Was my simple reply and I frowned a little. And then suddenly felt surprised with myself. I certainly was a man who felt passionate about many things, such as injustice and fair treatment, but it was one of the few times I actually admitted that I had love for another creature. Couldn’t even say that about my own mother.
“Heh heh, I understand, they worm their way into your hearts don’t they? Where you takin’ him?”
“Neutering and check up.” I looked at my watch, “Excuse me, don’t want to be late, Mr. Rupert.”
“Yeah, sure sure, good luck!”
I walked down the hall, down the stairs and out of the apartment complex. It wasn’t too long of a walk to the Humane Society. All the while I was thinking about what I’d said to Mr. Rupert. That I loved the little cat. He actually got my crime fighting obsessed mind off things once in a while. Made coming home more palatable. It took a cat to make me feel more human. “Hurm.” I muttered to myself as I stepped through the door.
“Novacks, 9:00 appointment for James.” I said as I walked up to the receptionist. She smiled as she saw a brown stripped paw reach out of the box and a meow.
“Have a seat, Mr. Novacks the doctor will be with you in a moment.”
The appointment was fairly routine. They took James out of the box and removed him from sight. Told me they’d check him over and then give him shots and neuter him. Expected me back at 4:30 pm with $90. Ten dollars less than what was estimated. I’d use that to buy supplies for the both of us.
Spent my afternoon without sign. Odd sight, Doom prophet without his sign, but I left it back at the apartment. Was able to stop at the store and pick up a few things, and then went to the book store and browsed. A lot of junk at the book store. Too many tawdry materialistic romance type books. “The Devil Wears Prada?” “Twilight”? What on earth were people reading? Junk Food. I ended up with my New York Gazette, Washington Post and New Frontiersman and left.
Made quick phone call to non emergency services. Reported drunken ambulance drivers from night before. Anonymously, of course. Felt good about reporting.
Next on to coffee. It was getting to be a habit, however, I still had that free gift card, so I was fairly unashamed at the indulgence.
“Hey, it’s my partner in coffee!” I heard someone from behind. Miss Dorian had just gotten off work. Honestly I had forgotten that she usually came here after work. My mind had been preoccupied with the cat.
“Good after noon, how was work?” I questioned, raising the corners of my mouth in what for me constituted a smile. Dorian gave me a surprised look and then smiled as well.
“Oh God, horrible. That kid Todd is just the worst.” She said as the end of the line inched closer to the register. “What a slacker!”
“Teens these days, their parents don’t teach them to be respectful. Not like in my day.”
Dorian looked at me quizzically, “I know what you mean. We look to be about the same age, I remember those days well.”
For a moment I’d forgotten I was only 46. In all actually I should have been close to the 70s, closer to Dan Drieberg’s age. I’d grown up in the 50s. Had to be careful about slips of the tongue. Not sure she would understand the complications behind my presence here. Then again, she was a smart person.
“Um one humongous ice mocha frappaccino, heavy on the cream and…what are you drinking Mr. K?” She ordered and then spoke to me.
“Oh no, no, I’ve got mine.”
“Don’t be silly, let me treat you.” She said with a smile, “You take a tall drip right?”
I paused a moment, “Yes, I do.” I said, feeling uncomfortable a moment but letting it go. Was never really one to turn down free food.
Getting our coffee we went to sit, “You didn’t have to do that Miss Dorian, I had….”
“Mr. K, money’s tight for you and besides, can’t a friend buy a friend a cup of coffee?” She said as she sat down to drink. After I doctored my coffee and pocketed some sugar packets, I sat down as well.
“Well, thank you then.” I said and we sat a moment and enjoyed the coffee. “You can call me Walter if you like.” I said. I wanted to say “You can call me Rorschach if you like” but that wouldn’t have worked.
“Well, thanks Walter, You can call me Anita if you like.” She smiled. “No sign today?”
“Brought James to the clinic today.” I looked at her, my face still serious.
“James…oh your cat. Is he ok?”
“Neutering and shots.”
We spent some time discussing James when the proprietor switched the channel on the shop television from the shrill Oprah show to the news. Our attention was averted for a moment at the reports of a small child abducted the night before. I wondered if any of my papers had more details, I’d be interested in reading about the circumstances. I clenched my teeth a moment. “Of course, no one ever knows, do they?” I said with a frown.
“What?” Anita turned to me, “Oh no, I suppose not. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the family was involved. Sometimes family can be the most brutal to each other, believe me I know.” She said as she looked back up to the television.
“So do I.” I said quietly, balled a fist, and finished my coffee. “Anita, I must go pick up James, it is about time.” I said as I looked at my watch. “Thank you for the coffee. I will stop in soon to check my email.”
“Ok Walter, I’ll be seeing you soon.” She smiled as she continued to sit.
Exiting the coffee shop, feeling a little rattled again, I made my way to the clinic to pick up the cat. The surgery was routine and uneventful. Was told James would be groggy and may mess the floor a bit the first night. Not to let him jump for a few days. Wait an hour before feeding. Was given a piece of paper with instructions. Paid my money, took my things and James home. No meowing in the box. I assumed he was fast asleep. I walked gingerly as to not disturb him.
Made my way back up to my flat and placed the box down gently. Opened it to find James looking up at me with groggy eyes. I stroked him from nose to tail and he started to purr. “There there, get some sleep, hellion.” I said as I smiled at him. A second smile today. Hurm. This smile was broader and loving toward my little pet.
I settled down and read my newspapers a while. Read in New Frontiersman and in Washington Post about string of child kidnappings in the area, both in DC as well as Northern Virginia, in the Alexandria area. Troubling. The pattern was right along the borderline and all the children were between the ages of 5 and 7. I wondered if I pressed a few of the local bars if any of them would know anything at all. Hurm, maybe another trip to Benders to squeeze some people. There were a few other bars at which I’d made my presence known. Would have to visit them as well.
Just as I thought about my plan I looked over to find James had gotten out of his box and was attempting to use the litter. He was wobbly on his feet and I ended up having to help him get his back end into the box. Looks like I was to play nurse maid for tonight. Thursday night I start investigating.
For now, Rorschach
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 7th, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 9:55 pm, Tuesday
Another quiet day today. Walked along with End is Nigh sign, found change on street. Also found dead crow by sidewalk near news stand. Life ended struck by car. Blood covered.
Hadn’t eaten much today. Saving money for cat surgery. Honestly, find it difficult to spend the money on anything. Too worried to use it up and have nothing for later.
Sitting now in apartment, getting ready for night stroll. No aim in particular, save for perhaps wandering by Shari’s new residence to make sure a good place was selected. By the looks of the address, it seemed suitable.
Listened to the radio as I dressed. Luthor “Glass jaw” had made it out of critical condition. Recovering, with no memory of the other night. Fortuitous. Reports are still in that it had been inter-gang violence. So far, it would seem that aging police officer the other night had kept my cover. Wondered if our paths would cross again. Good to have potential ally on police force.
Pulled black and white skin over face and used grappling gun to lower myself out of window. Snapped button, retractable gun tip flicked back into place. I was grateful to Dan to have provided me with a new one. This one had more power than the last one, and a longer range. Trouble is, still worked on CO2 cartridges. Needed to be frugal, not easy to come by those.
Walked a while. The night had turned chilly. My breath fogged out in the cold air. Spring in DC was fickle. One day 70s, the next 40’s. Fortunately trench coat kept me warm and dry. Wandered a while, passed still open liquor stores and tattoo shops for last minute customers. Their barred windows an indicator of the kind of neighborhood in which I lived. Wish I could afford better. At least the landlord wasn’t slum lord. One of the few honest people in this crooked town.
One chilly whore approached me, looked cold and a bit afraid. “Hi, I’m China, I….”
I held up a disinterested hand. She looked deflated. I do not condone whoring. But I acknowledge that for some it can be the last act of desperation. I just didn’t agree with turning to it in the first place, especially not after my childhood. The whore started to cry.
I stopped, “I cannot help you.” I said darkly, without turning around, “However, if you go Mission Vargas on Eye Street you’ll find decent shelter with hot food.” I said as I walked away. “Give up whoring.”
The whore meekly thanked me.
For a short while I felt rattled and irritated. What if this woman had a child? What if she were a child herself? Hurm. Why did people let themselves stoop that far? I couldn’t be a social worker. There were others for that. People make their own choices. My mission was to combat the evil that humans do. The best I could do was to keep the streets safe, at least. In that way that was how I could help the hapless woman.
I strolled for a good hour along the moderately quiet streets. Tuesday night people were already home settling in for the evening. Warm lights glowed from cozy homes. Occasionally I could see as I walked scenes of domesticity. People sat watching television or cleaning up dishes. They should draw their curtains.
Wandered passed where Shari lived. Didn’t stop. Didn’t want to call attention to myself. Looked secure enough. Just a stone front townhouse. Wondered if she was staying with a friend. Good enough neighborhood. I felt secure she was safe. I walked on.
Ducked behind a bush. Cop car passed. Didn’t see me. The police force was dull here. Some research garnered information that they are only required High School education. Wondered what kind of special training they obtained in employment?
Wandered passed quiet ambulance parked and running idle on the street. Peeked in. No one inside, but the radio was operating. Emergencies called out to deaf ears. Waited and watched down the block a good 15 minutes till someone showed. Two people, laughing and staggering a bit. Took down license plate, will report to the officials. No place for drunkards in emergency services.
Thought of my email address. Hoped it would garner some result. What if it did? I would go to visit Dan, how would I? Who would take care of James? Miss Dorian I’m sure would be happy to. What would Dan and I do once I got there? My life was wrapped up with crime fighting. My life was on the street. Dan’s life was soft and comfortable. Our age difference now was quite pronounced. Was he even Nite-Owl any longer? Did he live in a rest home bloated, stiff, waiting to die? Reliving past conquests and mourning the old days?
Just at that moment a small body slammed into me from the side, taking me by surprise.
“Help!” The boy all of about 11 years old cried out. He was being chased by older teenagers.
“What’s this all about?” I questioned as I pushed the boy behind me.
“None of your business, weirdo.” One of the older teens barked.
“Get out of here, before I turn you in, and don’t think I can’t.” I said sternly and raised a fist. The two boys, thinking better about it, ran the other way. I then turned to the younger boy, “What happened?” I questioned gruffly.
“My brother’s friends. I flushed their pot down the toilet.” He started to cry. “I hate it.”
I paused, “I hate it too. You should go home.”
The boy seemed unsure, masked strange man. He backed away a bit, never once looking at my face. Perhaps it was a good idea to be afraid of strangers. "They might jump me again."
“Walk home I'll stand here and make sure they don’t come back.” I offered.
The boy nodded and wandered away, looking back every once in a while at my shadowy figure. He approached a house about a dozen houses down and entered.
I continued to walk, feeling like I helped somehow tonight. Tomorrow will focus on other things. Tonight, protecting the innocent.
For now, Rorschach
Another quiet day today. Walked along with End is Nigh sign, found change on street. Also found dead crow by sidewalk near news stand. Life ended struck by car. Blood covered.
Hadn’t eaten much today. Saving money for cat surgery. Honestly, find it difficult to spend the money on anything. Too worried to use it up and have nothing for later.
Sitting now in apartment, getting ready for night stroll. No aim in particular, save for perhaps wandering by Shari’s new residence to make sure a good place was selected. By the looks of the address, it seemed suitable.
Listened to the radio as I dressed. Luthor “Glass jaw” had made it out of critical condition. Recovering, with no memory of the other night. Fortuitous. Reports are still in that it had been inter-gang violence. So far, it would seem that aging police officer the other night had kept my cover. Wondered if our paths would cross again. Good to have potential ally on police force.
Pulled black and white skin over face and used grappling gun to lower myself out of window. Snapped button, retractable gun tip flicked back into place. I was grateful to Dan to have provided me with a new one. This one had more power than the last one, and a longer range. Trouble is, still worked on CO2 cartridges. Needed to be frugal, not easy to come by those.
Walked a while. The night had turned chilly. My breath fogged out in the cold air. Spring in DC was fickle. One day 70s, the next 40’s. Fortunately trench coat kept me warm and dry. Wandered a while, passed still open liquor stores and tattoo shops for last minute customers. Their barred windows an indicator of the kind of neighborhood in which I lived. Wish I could afford better. At least the landlord wasn’t slum lord. One of the few honest people in this crooked town.
One chilly whore approached me, looked cold and a bit afraid. “Hi, I’m China, I….”
I held up a disinterested hand. She looked deflated. I do not condone whoring. But I acknowledge that for some it can be the last act of desperation. I just didn’t agree with turning to it in the first place, especially not after my childhood. The whore started to cry.
I stopped, “I cannot help you.” I said darkly, without turning around, “However, if you go Mission Vargas on Eye Street you’ll find decent shelter with hot food.” I said as I walked away. “Give up whoring.”
The whore meekly thanked me.
For a short while I felt rattled and irritated. What if this woman had a child? What if she were a child herself? Hurm. Why did people let themselves stoop that far? I couldn’t be a social worker. There were others for that. People make their own choices. My mission was to combat the evil that humans do. The best I could do was to keep the streets safe, at least. In that way that was how I could help the hapless woman.
I strolled for a good hour along the moderately quiet streets. Tuesday night people were already home settling in for the evening. Warm lights glowed from cozy homes. Occasionally I could see as I walked scenes of domesticity. People sat watching television or cleaning up dishes. They should draw their curtains.
Wandered passed where Shari lived. Didn’t stop. Didn’t want to call attention to myself. Looked secure enough. Just a stone front townhouse. Wondered if she was staying with a friend. Good enough neighborhood. I felt secure she was safe. I walked on.
Ducked behind a bush. Cop car passed. Didn’t see me. The police force was dull here. Some research garnered information that they are only required High School education. Wondered what kind of special training they obtained in employment?
Wandered passed quiet ambulance parked and running idle on the street. Peeked in. No one inside, but the radio was operating. Emergencies called out to deaf ears. Waited and watched down the block a good 15 minutes till someone showed. Two people, laughing and staggering a bit. Took down license plate, will report to the officials. No place for drunkards in emergency services.
Thought of my email address. Hoped it would garner some result. What if it did? I would go to visit Dan, how would I? Who would take care of James? Miss Dorian I’m sure would be happy to. What would Dan and I do once I got there? My life was wrapped up with crime fighting. My life was on the street. Dan’s life was soft and comfortable. Our age difference now was quite pronounced. Was he even Nite-Owl any longer? Did he live in a rest home bloated, stiff, waiting to die? Reliving past conquests and mourning the old days?
Just at that moment a small body slammed into me from the side, taking me by surprise.
“Help!” The boy all of about 11 years old cried out. He was being chased by older teenagers.
“What’s this all about?” I questioned as I pushed the boy behind me.
“None of your business, weirdo.” One of the older teens barked.
“Get out of here, before I turn you in, and don’t think I can’t.” I said sternly and raised a fist. The two boys, thinking better about it, ran the other way. I then turned to the younger boy, “What happened?” I questioned gruffly.
“My brother’s friends. I flushed their pot down the toilet.” He started to cry. “I hate it.”
I paused, “I hate it too. You should go home.”
The boy seemed unsure, masked strange man. He backed away a bit, never once looking at my face. Perhaps it was a good idea to be afraid of strangers. "They might jump me again."
“Walk home I'll stand here and make sure they don’t come back.” I offered.
The boy nodded and wandered away, looking back every once in a while at my shadowy figure. He approached a house about a dozen houses down and entered.
I continued to walk, feeling like I helped somehow tonight. Tomorrow will focus on other things. Tonight, protecting the innocent.
For now, Rorschach
Monday, April 6, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 6th, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 3:30pm, Monday.
Spent the morning wandering the streets with the sign. My right eye opened up today. Managed to use one of the coupons I found for Advil which took some of the pain of it away. Not sure how that small little criminal could get such a good punch on me, but it was the wrong angle at the wrong time.
Fist and knees felt better too. But starting to feel the slight age of 46 now. As I passed the store windows and glanced at them on occasion, saw reflection and continued to move. Still, 46, good age. Just not used to fighting so many at once. Wondered again how Dan was doing. He would be 60 by now. Kids older, Jupiter older. Wondered if she stayed with him or if she finally found someone else as she was apt to do. Would figure. Still she spoke up for me that day Manhattan brought me back. Couldn’t hold too much of a grudge that day she said I was right.
Stomach rumbled. Stomach wanted food, brain wanted cake. Damn it, needed to stop thinking about it. What is this magical power that certain foods have? The power to entice you to want more.
Turned sharply and made way to local humane society shelter. Needed to make appointment for James for neutering and a check up. Made the appointment for Wednesday. The cost minimal since they were a service that encouraged neutering. I hated to do that to James, but at the same time I wanted to be a responsible owner. Besides I’d hoped that since he had his crazy episode yesterday perhaps this would calm him down a bit.
After that, decided to go to the library. Face Miss Dorian, if she was there. Hadn’t wanted to show off my black eye. And it was black as could be, in fact. But wanted to check for emails.
Strolled in front door, with sign. Looked at front desk. No one there. Signed sign in sheet and waited a moment. A young man, probably an intern of some sort, late teens, 20 maybe, came out.
“Ok, you…” he glanced at the sheet then looked up, with a judgmental eye, “…can go to computer 4.”
Felt uneasy as I presented my sign. The man looked at me as if afraid to get near me much less touch the sign. Just at that point Miss Dorian turned the corner from the back office, purse slung over her shoulder.
“Oh hi Mr. K.” She said with a smile as she quickly looked at the young man repremandingly. She nimbly took my sign, unafraid, and grumbled at the young man. She hadn’t noticed my appearance as she seemed more focused on frowning at the apparently new employee.
“I WAS taking the sign.” He protested. I started to wander off to computer 4 but kept an ear out at the front desk. “I just, euh, didn’t really want to touch it. Gross.”
“Todd, Mr. K is one of our patrons. We serve this community. Get over it.” She snapped at him sharply. “And he’s not gross. You’d better hope he didn’t hear you.” She said as she put the sign in its usual spot and turned the corner back to the back room again.
“Shut the hell up, Bitch.” He uttered under his breath once she was out of the area.
I froze in my tracks, nearly to the computer chair. I clenched my teeth and felt my pulse quicken. I was forced to tolerate many things in this world, but this I would not. At this point I wished I had the black and white face and my trench coat. But any mode would suffice right now. I turned with a frown, throwing on my darker face, the face that frightened grown men in penitentiary, Rorschach, regardless of mask or not, and walked up briskly to the young man. I stood there, penetrating stare, “You, need to know how to respect people.” My voice dark and gravely as I placed tightly balled fists up on the check out table. Knuckles turning white with the pressure.
Todd looked as though he wanted to spar with me, which would be a mistake on his part, but after a moment of staring he looked away. “I’m sorry.” He offered half heartedly as he pretended to work, shuffling papers.
At this point, Miss Dorian rounded the corner again and quickly approached, looking alarmed, realizing there was a confrontation, “Todd, there’s some filing in the back. Please go do it.” She said as she grabbed his arms and sharply pointed him to the back room. She then looked at me and frowned, “I’m sorry, Mr. K if he upset you he…. Oh my God what happened to your eye!” She said as her eyes widened and she brought her hand up to her cheek.
I paused a moment, trying to remove myself from fight mode. Not that I would have done much to the boy, I valued coming to the Library and didn’t want to be banned, but I could feel my face and chest still hot from anger. I took a few breaths and tried my best to speak in a level tone. “I met with some of the wrong crowd on the street Friday night.” I said, honestly.
“Oh no! “ Dorian said, alarmed, “Did you get hurt? Apart from your eye? I mean, are you ok? Can I get you anything? Would you like an ice pack?” She said sincerely wanting to help, it would appear.
“No, I’m not hurt. You should see the others though.” I said with a straight face. Dorian laughed thinking I was joking,
“I don’t doubt you!” She said and tried to be light to alleviate any tension.
“I don’t require anything currently, however, I do have a question for you, if you wouldn’t mind.” I changed the subject. “It’s about the computer.”
“Oh certainly.” She said as she accompanied me to the computer. I sat and logged in.
“Were you on your way out?” I questioned as the computer took a moment to awake and reveal the welcome page.
“Well yes, my shift is over, but…..I saw you walk in so I thought I’d wait a moment, see if you wanted to walk over to the coffee shop.”
I typed in my search engine and signed in to my yahoo email address. I had one email from Shari. I would read it in a moment. “Haven’t had my coffee yet. Suppose I’m late to the library today. I would be happy to go, however, I do not want to keep you if you are heading back home.”
Dorian smiled, “I don’t mind waiting, my husband is going to be late from work tonight, so I have some spare time.” She glanced over at Todd who had returned to the front desk, “I’m sorry about Todd. He’s a new intern, just started today. It’s some kind of program with the schools. Kids are required to do some community service to graduate, and this is his. If he upset you I sincerely apologize.”
I clicked away from my email page and continued on to google, “I found him disconcerting, particularly with his disrespect.” I frowned, “Not only toward me, but toward his elders in general.”
“Oh, I’ve got him in line, don’t worry about that. He’s only here for a week anyway, then he’ll be gone.”
“People like that…” I shook my head, “…they sometimes never learn their lessons though.” I looked up and pointed at my black eye, “One of those kinds the other night.”
Dorian looked at me a moment, without saying anything, perhaps something on her mind. I wasn’t sure. Sometimes was hard to read women’s behavior. “You said you had a question Mr. K?”
I looked up a moment, needed help. How many times had I heard that from Doctor Long? Why the hell was I thinking back to that so much? Perhaps it was that I hadn’t had much time to think about that over the years, or lack of years. Not enough healing from it. “If I am looking for someone I know lives in California, and I don’t know their address or email, how can I make my email address come to his attention?” I tried to be clear with my request.
“Hmm, that’s a good one, I’m not sure.” She said as she brought her hand up to her chin in a thinking pose, “You could put out an ad in one of the local California papers, through their website.”
“Hurm, trouble is I am not sure where in California he is. Last I heard from him, 8 years ago, he was in LA.” I paused. “And I don’t think he really reads such papers as New Frontiersmen, but he might.”
“Well then let’s start there. We can put an ad in both the California paper and New Frontiersmen and see what happens.” She said and smiled. “Though there might be a fee.” She said as she indicated for me to type in a search for the LA papers. The LA Times popped up. The classifieds, however, required payment, and I had no electronic payment.
“Mr. K. I’ve got it.” Dorian went for the bag on her shoulder.
“No I cannot allow that.” I raised a hand. “There must be a way, a list of some sort, somewhere.”
“How about personals?” She said as she snapped her fingers.
“I am not looking to date the man!” I was taken aback.
“No no, they have platonic ones too. It’ll be ok, really!” She said as she pointed at the screen. People seeking people, sex trade under the guise of finding a soul mate. Disgusting. But a small island revealed, “Platonic”. It was free, so I clicked on it. The surrounding ads were innocent enough. Typed in, “Hoot hoot” and my email address.
“Hoot hoot?” She laughed, “Isn’t that a little obscure?”
“No, he will know.” I said and then clicked on New Frontiersman and found the same fee for classifieds, but personals for free. Ended up doing the same thing.
Dorian excused herself to speak to Todd a moment as I took this opportunity to read Shari’s email. In it, she spoke of getting settled in a safe location, which she revealed to me. Though I knew that was a safe thing to do, perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea for her to reveal this location to less trustworthy people. She also spoke of the lawyer and his efforts to settle the estate of both parents and set her up with a fund to live from till settlement. She spoke of the nun who helped her at discharge. She was feeling much better, though physical therapy was cumbersome. She asked for a visit. I would visit the location in one of my nocturnal walks. Make sure the place was safe from the outside. Not sure ‘Walter’ would visit any time soon though.
I wrote back to her, asking about what she knew of Gus Sandler. Wished her a speedy recovery.
Dorian returned as I finished up, “Ready for that coffee.” I said as I stood. She smiled and nodded as we picked up my sign and wandered out of the Library, “Miss Dorian, do you like chocolate cake?”
For now, Rorschach
Spent the morning wandering the streets with the sign. My right eye opened up today. Managed to use one of the coupons I found for Advil which took some of the pain of it away. Not sure how that small little criminal could get such a good punch on me, but it was the wrong angle at the wrong time.
Fist and knees felt better too. But starting to feel the slight age of 46 now. As I passed the store windows and glanced at them on occasion, saw reflection and continued to move. Still, 46, good age. Just not used to fighting so many at once. Wondered again how Dan was doing. He would be 60 by now. Kids older, Jupiter older. Wondered if she stayed with him or if she finally found someone else as she was apt to do. Would figure. Still she spoke up for me that day Manhattan brought me back. Couldn’t hold too much of a grudge that day she said I was right.
Stomach rumbled. Stomach wanted food, brain wanted cake. Damn it, needed to stop thinking about it. What is this magical power that certain foods have? The power to entice you to want more.
Turned sharply and made way to local humane society shelter. Needed to make appointment for James for neutering and a check up. Made the appointment for Wednesday. The cost minimal since they were a service that encouraged neutering. I hated to do that to James, but at the same time I wanted to be a responsible owner. Besides I’d hoped that since he had his crazy episode yesterday perhaps this would calm him down a bit.
After that, decided to go to the library. Face Miss Dorian, if she was there. Hadn’t wanted to show off my black eye. And it was black as could be, in fact. But wanted to check for emails.
Strolled in front door, with sign. Looked at front desk. No one there. Signed sign in sheet and waited a moment. A young man, probably an intern of some sort, late teens, 20 maybe, came out.
“Ok, you…” he glanced at the sheet then looked up, with a judgmental eye, “…can go to computer 4.”
Felt uneasy as I presented my sign. The man looked at me as if afraid to get near me much less touch the sign. Just at that point Miss Dorian turned the corner from the back office, purse slung over her shoulder.
“Oh hi Mr. K.” She said with a smile as she quickly looked at the young man repremandingly. She nimbly took my sign, unafraid, and grumbled at the young man. She hadn’t noticed my appearance as she seemed more focused on frowning at the apparently new employee.
“I WAS taking the sign.” He protested. I started to wander off to computer 4 but kept an ear out at the front desk. “I just, euh, didn’t really want to touch it. Gross.”
“Todd, Mr. K is one of our patrons. We serve this community. Get over it.” She snapped at him sharply. “And he’s not gross. You’d better hope he didn’t hear you.” She said as she put the sign in its usual spot and turned the corner back to the back room again.
“Shut the hell up, Bitch.” He uttered under his breath once she was out of the area.
I froze in my tracks, nearly to the computer chair. I clenched my teeth and felt my pulse quicken. I was forced to tolerate many things in this world, but this I would not. At this point I wished I had the black and white face and my trench coat. But any mode would suffice right now. I turned with a frown, throwing on my darker face, the face that frightened grown men in penitentiary, Rorschach, regardless of mask or not, and walked up briskly to the young man. I stood there, penetrating stare, “You, need to know how to respect people.” My voice dark and gravely as I placed tightly balled fists up on the check out table. Knuckles turning white with the pressure.
Todd looked as though he wanted to spar with me, which would be a mistake on his part, but after a moment of staring he looked away. “I’m sorry.” He offered half heartedly as he pretended to work, shuffling papers.
At this point, Miss Dorian rounded the corner again and quickly approached, looking alarmed, realizing there was a confrontation, “Todd, there’s some filing in the back. Please go do it.” She said as she grabbed his arms and sharply pointed him to the back room. She then looked at me and frowned, “I’m sorry, Mr. K if he upset you he…. Oh my God what happened to your eye!” She said as her eyes widened and she brought her hand up to her cheek.
I paused a moment, trying to remove myself from fight mode. Not that I would have done much to the boy, I valued coming to the Library and didn’t want to be banned, but I could feel my face and chest still hot from anger. I took a few breaths and tried my best to speak in a level tone. “I met with some of the wrong crowd on the street Friday night.” I said, honestly.
“Oh no! “ Dorian said, alarmed, “Did you get hurt? Apart from your eye? I mean, are you ok? Can I get you anything? Would you like an ice pack?” She said sincerely wanting to help, it would appear.
“No, I’m not hurt. You should see the others though.” I said with a straight face. Dorian laughed thinking I was joking,
“I don’t doubt you!” She said and tried to be light to alleviate any tension.
“I don’t require anything currently, however, I do have a question for you, if you wouldn’t mind.” I changed the subject. “It’s about the computer.”
“Oh certainly.” She said as she accompanied me to the computer. I sat and logged in.
“Were you on your way out?” I questioned as the computer took a moment to awake and reveal the welcome page.
“Well yes, my shift is over, but…..I saw you walk in so I thought I’d wait a moment, see if you wanted to walk over to the coffee shop.”
I typed in my search engine and signed in to my yahoo email address. I had one email from Shari. I would read it in a moment. “Haven’t had my coffee yet. Suppose I’m late to the library today. I would be happy to go, however, I do not want to keep you if you are heading back home.”
Dorian smiled, “I don’t mind waiting, my husband is going to be late from work tonight, so I have some spare time.” She glanced over at Todd who had returned to the front desk, “I’m sorry about Todd. He’s a new intern, just started today. It’s some kind of program with the schools. Kids are required to do some community service to graduate, and this is his. If he upset you I sincerely apologize.”
I clicked away from my email page and continued on to google, “I found him disconcerting, particularly with his disrespect.” I frowned, “Not only toward me, but toward his elders in general.”
“Oh, I’ve got him in line, don’t worry about that. He’s only here for a week anyway, then he’ll be gone.”
“People like that…” I shook my head, “…they sometimes never learn their lessons though.” I looked up and pointed at my black eye, “One of those kinds the other night.”
Dorian looked at me a moment, without saying anything, perhaps something on her mind. I wasn’t sure. Sometimes was hard to read women’s behavior. “You said you had a question Mr. K?”
I looked up a moment, needed help. How many times had I heard that from Doctor Long? Why the hell was I thinking back to that so much? Perhaps it was that I hadn’t had much time to think about that over the years, or lack of years. Not enough healing from it. “If I am looking for someone I know lives in California, and I don’t know their address or email, how can I make my email address come to his attention?” I tried to be clear with my request.
“Hmm, that’s a good one, I’m not sure.” She said as she brought her hand up to her chin in a thinking pose, “You could put out an ad in one of the local California papers, through their website.”
“Hurm, trouble is I am not sure where in California he is. Last I heard from him, 8 years ago, he was in LA.” I paused. “And I don’t think he really reads such papers as New Frontiersmen, but he might.”
“Well then let’s start there. We can put an ad in both the California paper and New Frontiersmen and see what happens.” She said and smiled. “Though there might be a fee.” She said as she indicated for me to type in a search for the LA papers. The LA Times popped up. The classifieds, however, required payment, and I had no electronic payment.
“Mr. K. I’ve got it.” Dorian went for the bag on her shoulder.
“No I cannot allow that.” I raised a hand. “There must be a way, a list of some sort, somewhere.”
“How about personals?” She said as she snapped her fingers.
“I am not looking to date the man!” I was taken aback.
“No no, they have platonic ones too. It’ll be ok, really!” She said as she pointed at the screen. People seeking people, sex trade under the guise of finding a soul mate. Disgusting. But a small island revealed, “Platonic”. It was free, so I clicked on it. The surrounding ads were innocent enough. Typed in, “Hoot hoot” and my email address.
“Hoot hoot?” She laughed, “Isn’t that a little obscure?”
“No, he will know.” I said and then clicked on New Frontiersman and found the same fee for classifieds, but personals for free. Ended up doing the same thing.
Dorian excused herself to speak to Todd a moment as I took this opportunity to read Shari’s email. In it, she spoke of getting settled in a safe location, which she revealed to me. Though I knew that was a safe thing to do, perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea for her to reveal this location to less trustworthy people. She also spoke of the lawyer and his efforts to settle the estate of both parents and set her up with a fund to live from till settlement. She spoke of the nun who helped her at discharge. She was feeling much better, though physical therapy was cumbersome. She asked for a visit. I would visit the location in one of my nocturnal walks. Make sure the place was safe from the outside. Not sure ‘Walter’ would visit any time soon though.
I wrote back to her, asking about what she knew of Gus Sandler. Wished her a speedy recovery.
Dorian returned as I finished up, “Ready for that coffee.” I said as I stood. She smiled and nodded as we picked up my sign and wandered out of the Library, “Miss Dorian, do you like chocolate cake?”
For now, Rorschach
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 5th, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 5:04 pm, Sunday
Spent yesterday cleaning up after James. Managed to go out to get the paper and a snack and spent the afternoon reading and eating. Felt spoiled after nice surprise meal that Mrs. Rupert gave to me. Would have to return her plastic containers. Had no way of cleaning them, save for water rinsing. Had almost forgotten what cake had tasted like. It was good. Enough so I wanted more. Would have to find more somewhere. Preferably chocolate through and through.
New Frontiersmen was an interesting read yesterday. Hoped that today’s was interesting as well.
Been walking the streets with trusty sign again. It turned out to be a beautiful day, deep blue skies, balmy temperatures, happy people throwing decent things away. Managed to find coupons for cat food, energy bars, and vitamins. Needed all those things. Found a coupon for Gunga Diner. Gunga Diner? From New York? Pocketed that as well.
Wandered by Average Joes. At this hour, it looked slow and preparing to close. Dropped by the news stand for New Frontiersman and Washington Post. Pandering rag, but still useful to keep up on the local activity. Also to tear up for cat box.
On walk back home picked up Hoagie from Subway’s. Horrible horrible. Dear God how I missed New York food. Even this starving man has standards. Regardless, it was inexpensive food. Made quick work of it to get it over with. Saved some of the meat for my one other mouth to feed. The only thing that gave me comfort. James greeted me at the door.
James looked up at me, and with one meow he shot out of the door, streaked passed my feet and screeched to a stop just passed me. “JAMES” I shouted and dropped my sign, my newspaper and the remnants of my sandwich. James had a wily look in his eye and started to zig-zag down the hall. I chased after him, zig-zagging, waiving my arms to try to scoop him up. “God dammit, come back here!”
James then stopped, laid down on the hall carpet with his nails dug in and his tail wagging, the kitten crazy eyes flashed at me as he then returned down the hall back to the apartment, me stomping and flailing along the way. A few doors down the hall opened up to look at the commotion, as did Mr. Rupert across the hall. “JAMES, get back in there!” I yelled as he darted back in my door, turned and sat, casually licking one of his front paws as if to say, “I meant to do that.”
I simply stood in the doorway and looked down the hall at the two people who had opened their doors. They went back to their lives. Mr. Rupert laughed as he went back into his apartment as well.
I collected my papers, my sandwich, and signs and entered my apartment. “What’s wrong with you?” I questioned the cat, “Little stinker.” I rubbed his head a moment and sat down to read the papers.
New Frontiersman lead story, President Obama in Europe. I groaned. Again? Turned the page and found good article on unusual sun spots. Hurm.
For now, Rorschach
Spent yesterday cleaning up after James. Managed to go out to get the paper and a snack and spent the afternoon reading and eating. Felt spoiled after nice surprise meal that Mrs. Rupert gave to me. Would have to return her plastic containers. Had no way of cleaning them, save for water rinsing. Had almost forgotten what cake had tasted like. It was good. Enough so I wanted more. Would have to find more somewhere. Preferably chocolate through and through.
New Frontiersmen was an interesting read yesterday. Hoped that today’s was interesting as well.
Been walking the streets with trusty sign again. It turned out to be a beautiful day, deep blue skies, balmy temperatures, happy people throwing decent things away. Managed to find coupons for cat food, energy bars, and vitamins. Needed all those things. Found a coupon for Gunga Diner. Gunga Diner? From New York? Pocketed that as well.
Wandered by Average Joes. At this hour, it looked slow and preparing to close. Dropped by the news stand for New Frontiersman and Washington Post. Pandering rag, but still useful to keep up on the local activity. Also to tear up for cat box.
On walk back home picked up Hoagie from Subway’s. Horrible horrible. Dear God how I missed New York food. Even this starving man has standards. Regardless, it was inexpensive food. Made quick work of it to get it over with. Saved some of the meat for my one other mouth to feed. The only thing that gave me comfort. James greeted me at the door.
James looked up at me, and with one meow he shot out of the door, streaked passed my feet and screeched to a stop just passed me. “JAMES” I shouted and dropped my sign, my newspaper and the remnants of my sandwich. James had a wily look in his eye and started to zig-zag down the hall. I chased after him, zig-zagging, waiving my arms to try to scoop him up. “God dammit, come back here!”
James then stopped, laid down on the hall carpet with his nails dug in and his tail wagging, the kitten crazy eyes flashed at me as he then returned down the hall back to the apartment, me stomping and flailing along the way. A few doors down the hall opened up to look at the commotion, as did Mr. Rupert across the hall. “JAMES, get back in there!” I yelled as he darted back in my door, turned and sat, casually licking one of his front paws as if to say, “I meant to do that.”
I simply stood in the doorway and looked down the hall at the two people who had opened their doors. They went back to their lives. Mr. Rupert laughed as he went back into his apartment as well.
I collected my papers, my sandwich, and signs and entered my apartment. “What’s wrong with you?” I questioned the cat, “Little stinker.” I rubbed his head a moment and sat down to read the papers.
New Frontiersman lead story, President Obama in Europe. I groaned. Again? Turned the page and found good article on unusual sun spots. Hurm.
For now, Rorschach
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 4th, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 10:37am
10:37 am, uncomfortable night sleep. Sore, face hurts. Oddly, James allowed me to sleep. Need to get bed soon. Sick of sleeping on floor.
Contemplated staying home today. Didn’t really feel up to going out. But then again, wanted to buy papers and have a coffee.
Turn over and reached for radio. News reports of rabid bobcat running into a bar. Idiot tried to get photo. Fool bitten for “great photo.” I tried to picture it, but kept picturing James as the bobcat. Chuckled a moment.
“In other news, four local drug dealers found dead in gun fight last night. Sources say they were a part of a turf war. One alive in grave condition at Howard University Hospital.” I rolled over, no reports of mysterious masked vigilante. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. On one hand I wanted to be known and feared in this city, to keep it in shape. On the other hand, I had no desire to be back in prison, no matter how in control I was back in those days. Looks like that cop hadn’t given me away. Or had he? Maybe a secret investigation? I’d have to keep on guard.
My eye reminded me that it needed a little extra help. Begrudgingly I hauled myself up to my feet, stretched out all the stiff muscles and walked out my door and across the hall. I hadn’t wanted to bother the landlord. I hadn’t wanted to admit I needed help. But I knock anyway, knowing that I needed some ice.
The landlady answered and looked at me with horrified shock, “Oh my God! Mr. Novack what happened!?”
I had to lie. Didn’t like to lie. “Tripped over James last night, landed on my chair.” I paused, “May I borrow some ice?”
“Oh you poor dear! Why didn’t you knock last night! Come in come in!” She invited me in, “you just sit right there, I’ll run to get the bactine, will have you fixed up in a jiffy!” She scooted off as she directed me to a chair in the entry way.
“Who is it Vera?” The landlord said from the living room.
“Next door neighbor dear, don’t worry, just go back to your funny papers!” She said as she scrambled around in the other room.
I sat there, in my tank top and purple pants, feeling very out of place. Their apartment was decorated in 1950s kitsch, with Depression glass vases and worn imitation oriental rugs. “I really only need some ice Mrs. Rupert.” I said.
“Oh nonsense, you’ve really done a number on your eye. Here let me…” She said as she approached with cotton balls, antiseptic and a large band aid. I felt the need to run.
For a moment I jumped with a start, “Really I can do that myself Mrs. Rupe….”
“No no, how could you possibly? It’s no bother dear, just hold still.” She said as she went after my face with a soaked cotton ball.
I held my breath a moment as the alcohol stung my wound.
“There now, that’s not so bad, is it?” She said as she adjusted my head by guiding it by my chin.
“Ghrug” I gurgled. Pain in the face, invading personal space, smothering with kindness.
She then put a good sized band aid on the cut and smiled, “Well then, Mr. Novack, all done.” She said as she looked at me. “You must be hungry, here, let me go get something for you to take back with you.” She said.
“Well, ok.” Never one to turn down food. Unashamed about that. Mrs. Rupert ran off into the kitchen after handing me some extra band aids. She returned with a Tupperware jar full of some kind of stew and something wrapped up.
“Just some extra stew, and a slice of chocolate cake. “ She handed me the food and a few baggies of ice.
For a moment my stomach rumbled. “Well thank you, Mrs. Rupert. And thank you for the ice.” I said as we stood looking at each other a moment, “I’ll just be going back to my place now.” I said as she continued to smile at me. I excused myself and wandered back over to my apartment.
The food lasted 10 seconds. Delicious. I had my cake after all. Happy Birthday Walter. I thought to myself.
Spent the rest of the day writing in journal and cleaning up after James.
For now, Rorschach
10:37 am, uncomfortable night sleep. Sore, face hurts. Oddly, James allowed me to sleep. Need to get bed soon. Sick of sleeping on floor.
Contemplated staying home today. Didn’t really feel up to going out. But then again, wanted to buy papers and have a coffee.
Turn over and reached for radio. News reports of rabid bobcat running into a bar. Idiot tried to get photo. Fool bitten for “great photo.” I tried to picture it, but kept picturing James as the bobcat. Chuckled a moment.
“In other news, four local drug dealers found dead in gun fight last night. Sources say they were a part of a turf war. One alive in grave condition at Howard University Hospital.” I rolled over, no reports of mysterious masked vigilante. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. On one hand I wanted to be known and feared in this city, to keep it in shape. On the other hand, I had no desire to be back in prison, no matter how in control I was back in those days. Looks like that cop hadn’t given me away. Or had he? Maybe a secret investigation? I’d have to keep on guard.
My eye reminded me that it needed a little extra help. Begrudgingly I hauled myself up to my feet, stretched out all the stiff muscles and walked out my door and across the hall. I hadn’t wanted to bother the landlord. I hadn’t wanted to admit I needed help. But I knock anyway, knowing that I needed some ice.
The landlady answered and looked at me with horrified shock, “Oh my God! Mr. Novack what happened!?”
I had to lie. Didn’t like to lie. “Tripped over James last night, landed on my chair.” I paused, “May I borrow some ice?”
“Oh you poor dear! Why didn’t you knock last night! Come in come in!” She invited me in, “you just sit right there, I’ll run to get the bactine, will have you fixed up in a jiffy!” She scooted off as she directed me to a chair in the entry way.
“Who is it Vera?” The landlord said from the living room.
“Next door neighbor dear, don’t worry, just go back to your funny papers!” She said as she scrambled around in the other room.
I sat there, in my tank top and purple pants, feeling very out of place. Their apartment was decorated in 1950s kitsch, with Depression glass vases and worn imitation oriental rugs. “I really only need some ice Mrs. Rupert.” I said.
“Oh nonsense, you’ve really done a number on your eye. Here let me…” She said as she approached with cotton balls, antiseptic and a large band aid. I felt the need to run.
For a moment I jumped with a start, “Really I can do that myself Mrs. Rupe….”
“No no, how could you possibly? It’s no bother dear, just hold still.” She said as she went after my face with a soaked cotton ball.
I held my breath a moment as the alcohol stung my wound.
“There now, that’s not so bad, is it?” She said as she adjusted my head by guiding it by my chin.
“Ghrug” I gurgled. Pain in the face, invading personal space, smothering with kindness.
She then put a good sized band aid on the cut and smiled, “Well then, Mr. Novack, all done.” She said as she looked at me. “You must be hungry, here, let me go get something for you to take back with you.” She said.
“Well, ok.” Never one to turn down food. Unashamed about that. Mrs. Rupert ran off into the kitchen after handing me some extra band aids. She returned with a Tupperware jar full of some kind of stew and something wrapped up.
“Just some extra stew, and a slice of chocolate cake. “ She handed me the food and a few baggies of ice.
For a moment my stomach rumbled. “Well thank you, Mrs. Rupert. And thank you for the ice.” I said as we stood looking at each other a moment, “I’ll just be going back to my place now.” I said as she continued to smile at me. I excused myself and wandered back over to my apartment.
The food lasted 10 seconds. Delicious. I had my cake after all. Happy Birthday Walter. I thought to myself.
Spent the rest of the day writing in journal and cleaning up after James.
For now, Rorschach
Friday, April 3, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 3rd, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal continued. 12:05 am.
Just as the hoodlums finished giving their opinion of me, I lunged forward and grabbed the large man I’d been breaking. I quickly swung him around and held him in front of me as a shield.
“No, no no no no no!” The man yelped just as a blaze of bullets poured forth. His corpulence and muscle mass absorbed each bullet. I pressed my shoulder into his back to keep him there. I could feel his body jerk at every impact as I held him by his upper arms. One bullet managed to pass through his shoulder and whiz by my ear, narrowly missing the left side of my face.
At the sound of numerous impotent clicks and no bullets I dropped the body in the pool of its own blood and looked up and adjusted my gloves. “Well, that didn’t seem to b……gah!”
Luthor “Glass Jaw”, during the shower of bullets, managed to wake up. Hadn’t expected that. Stupid mistake on my part. I hadn’t realized until too late when his fist was connecting with my eye. “Now who’s a sucker?” He shouted.
“Ow” Stunned and off my feet I heard the laughter of the others as footsteps started my way. I looked up as Luthor was standing there, a terrified smile on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I swept a leg over and knocked him off his feet. He fell to the ground in a heap and I scooted up hastily and planted the bottom of my heel up into his jaw. The sound of teeth cracking surprised the others as a few shards flew out of his mouth. Luthor lay motionless on the cobblestone as I leapt to my feet.
The others ran forward and started to swing their fists. I blocked each blow. It had been quite a while since I had fought more than one person. I’d forgotten how exciting it could be, despite the fact that my eye and its socket felt like they were swelling shut. I have to say, they were quite sloppy fighters. Bumbling one might say. Certainly not working as a team.
One pulled a knife and swung at me. I managed to grab his arm and swing him around to use it to stab the other one with it. The third rushed us as I used the one I was holding as leverage and took two steps up the side of the building wall, arced my leg over and came down on the third violently with my foot using that momentum to probably break his neck. He went to the ground.
I released number two as he stood there dumbfounded. His face was bandaged. It was the man from the other night, the one I warned, the one I pressed to the ground for dealing drugs.
“I warned you that next time I found you out here I’d kill you.” I said as I fixed my gloves, “I keep my promises.”
“No, man, no, I-I still have a knife, I….”
A moment later and he was on the ground as well. And I was kneeling a moment, catching my breath. Not as young as I used to be. Though precise and deadly as always, I needed to pause. Just at that, there were shouts from both ends of the alley and the faint flash of blue lights. I figured they’d come. Disappointingly before I got my note written.
I quickly reached into my inner coat pocket and produced my grappling gun, at the ready. Running to the side of the building I pointed it straight up and fired. It hooked onto the top of the building and I hoisted myself up and away, before the police arrived.
I stood at the top of the building and hunched over, peaking over the edge. The police scrambled up and flashed their lights down at the scene. “Oh God, they killed each other. What a f*cking mess!” A young cop said.
“Drug deal gone bad.” Another announced as he pointed his flashlight around. For a moment it swept over me. I ducked behind the brick edge, and then peaked out again. I could see the face of the older cop who pointed his light up. And for a moment he sort of nodded and then looked away, “Get the coroner out here so we can get this mess cleaned up. Stupid gang bangers and their drug fights.”
That was quite odd. I’m sure he saw me. Could he have remembered Rorschach? For a moment I wondered had he just covered for me? Time would tell, as would the news. But for now, the police were not making any attempts at finding me or running to the top of this building.
I walked to the other side of the building and managed to let myself down the other side, quietly. I walked off into the shadows, my fists hurting, my knees hurting and my eye hurting. Still, rewarding after all these years. If only to clean up the city a few people at a time.
Quietly and stealthily, I made my way back home, letting myself in by the window. James was waiting for me, sitting there. He’d managed to taken every sheet of today’s news paper and decorate the place. He waited in a pile of the classifieds as I settled down into the room. “Oh James, I wish you wouldn’t do that.” I said, a little let down. After an eventful night I had this to come home to.
I drew the blind and then took off my hat and coat. Went to the bathroom flipped the light on. As it flickered faintly I looked in the mirror. A drop of red blood soaked through the black and white fibers of my face and I had a moment of panic. “Oh Shit.” I said. I didn’t like to curse, but this was a good case for it. I pulled off the mask and ran the cold water to rinse it, caring for it before caring for my skin. Fortunately, this miracle fiber washed clean of blood easily. It was the only one I had left, and I was not about to lose it.
I looked up at my reflection in the mirror. Though in recent years I could face myself in the mirror more, it was still uncomfortable. The reflection of a human face, a face representing the failings that are what it means to be human. Humans were responsible for so much suffering in the world. And I was one of them, a cause and a victim. At least, my younger self would say that. But ever since that day in Antarctica, that day, I’d come to perhaps tolerate this human face a little more.
My eye was nearly swollen shut. The flesh around it puffy. I hadn’t anything cold to put on it. Perhaps the landlady. I didn’t need that woman’s help. I didn’t need any woman’s help. I said as I splashed water on my face. A small cut just on my cheek oozed more blood for a moment and then stopped. I didn’t need anyone’s help, dammit. “DAMMIT”. I said out loud, startling James. Frowning I tried to dry my face, but with no towel that made it difficult. I thought of Dan, of Shari, of Miss Dorian. Truth was, I did need their help. What was it the Comedian used to say? “God help us all.”
Frowning, I took a wad of toilet paper and pressed it up against my face. I thought of knocking on the landlord’s door, but it was nearly 2 in the morning. So I sat on the floor and laid back. My face throbbed. In the morning I would get some ice, and perhaps some cake somewhere. My birthday had come and gone, unnoticed even by me.
James curled up under my chin and started to purr.
For now, Rorschach
Just as the hoodlums finished giving their opinion of me, I lunged forward and grabbed the large man I’d been breaking. I quickly swung him around and held him in front of me as a shield.
“No, no no no no no!” The man yelped just as a blaze of bullets poured forth. His corpulence and muscle mass absorbed each bullet. I pressed my shoulder into his back to keep him there. I could feel his body jerk at every impact as I held him by his upper arms. One bullet managed to pass through his shoulder and whiz by my ear, narrowly missing the left side of my face.
At the sound of numerous impotent clicks and no bullets I dropped the body in the pool of its own blood and looked up and adjusted my gloves. “Well, that didn’t seem to b……gah!”
Luthor “Glass Jaw”, during the shower of bullets, managed to wake up. Hadn’t expected that. Stupid mistake on my part. I hadn’t realized until too late when his fist was connecting with my eye. “Now who’s a sucker?” He shouted.
“Ow” Stunned and off my feet I heard the laughter of the others as footsteps started my way. I looked up as Luthor was standing there, a terrified smile on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I swept a leg over and knocked him off his feet. He fell to the ground in a heap and I scooted up hastily and planted the bottom of my heel up into his jaw. The sound of teeth cracking surprised the others as a few shards flew out of his mouth. Luthor lay motionless on the cobblestone as I leapt to my feet.
The others ran forward and started to swing their fists. I blocked each blow. It had been quite a while since I had fought more than one person. I’d forgotten how exciting it could be, despite the fact that my eye and its socket felt like they were swelling shut. I have to say, they were quite sloppy fighters. Bumbling one might say. Certainly not working as a team.
One pulled a knife and swung at me. I managed to grab his arm and swing him around to use it to stab the other one with it. The third rushed us as I used the one I was holding as leverage and took two steps up the side of the building wall, arced my leg over and came down on the third violently with my foot using that momentum to probably break his neck. He went to the ground.
I released number two as he stood there dumbfounded. His face was bandaged. It was the man from the other night, the one I warned, the one I pressed to the ground for dealing drugs.
“I warned you that next time I found you out here I’d kill you.” I said as I fixed my gloves, “I keep my promises.”
“No, man, no, I-I still have a knife, I….”
A moment later and he was on the ground as well. And I was kneeling a moment, catching my breath. Not as young as I used to be. Though precise and deadly as always, I needed to pause. Just at that, there were shouts from both ends of the alley and the faint flash of blue lights. I figured they’d come. Disappointingly before I got my note written.
I quickly reached into my inner coat pocket and produced my grappling gun, at the ready. Running to the side of the building I pointed it straight up and fired. It hooked onto the top of the building and I hoisted myself up and away, before the police arrived.
I stood at the top of the building and hunched over, peaking over the edge. The police scrambled up and flashed their lights down at the scene. “Oh God, they killed each other. What a f*cking mess!” A young cop said.
“Drug deal gone bad.” Another announced as he pointed his flashlight around. For a moment it swept over me. I ducked behind the brick edge, and then peaked out again. I could see the face of the older cop who pointed his light up. And for a moment he sort of nodded and then looked away, “Get the coroner out here so we can get this mess cleaned up. Stupid gang bangers and their drug fights.”
That was quite odd. I’m sure he saw me. Could he have remembered Rorschach? For a moment I wondered had he just covered for me? Time would tell, as would the news. But for now, the police were not making any attempts at finding me or running to the top of this building.
I walked to the other side of the building and managed to let myself down the other side, quietly. I walked off into the shadows, my fists hurting, my knees hurting and my eye hurting. Still, rewarding after all these years. If only to clean up the city a few people at a time.
Quietly and stealthily, I made my way back home, letting myself in by the window. James was waiting for me, sitting there. He’d managed to taken every sheet of today’s news paper and decorate the place. He waited in a pile of the classifieds as I settled down into the room. “Oh James, I wish you wouldn’t do that.” I said, a little let down. After an eventful night I had this to come home to.
I drew the blind and then took off my hat and coat. Went to the bathroom flipped the light on. As it flickered faintly I looked in the mirror. A drop of red blood soaked through the black and white fibers of my face and I had a moment of panic. “Oh Shit.” I said. I didn’t like to curse, but this was a good case for it. I pulled off the mask and ran the cold water to rinse it, caring for it before caring for my skin. Fortunately, this miracle fiber washed clean of blood easily. It was the only one I had left, and I was not about to lose it.
I looked up at my reflection in the mirror. Though in recent years I could face myself in the mirror more, it was still uncomfortable. The reflection of a human face, a face representing the failings that are what it means to be human. Humans were responsible for so much suffering in the world. And I was one of them, a cause and a victim. At least, my younger self would say that. But ever since that day in Antarctica, that day, I’d come to perhaps tolerate this human face a little more.
My eye was nearly swollen shut. The flesh around it puffy. I hadn’t anything cold to put on it. Perhaps the landlady. I didn’t need that woman’s help. I didn’t need any woman’s help. I said as I splashed water on my face. A small cut just on my cheek oozed more blood for a moment and then stopped. I didn’t need anyone’s help, dammit. “DAMMIT”. I said out loud, startling James. Frowning I tried to dry my face, but with no towel that made it difficult. I thought of Dan, of Shari, of Miss Dorian. Truth was, I did need their help. What was it the Comedian used to say? “God help us all.”
Frowning, I took a wad of toilet paper and pressed it up against my face. I thought of knocking on the landlord’s door, but it was nearly 2 in the morning. So I sat on the floor and laid back. My face throbbed. In the morning I would get some ice, and perhaps some cake somewhere. My birthday had come and gone, unnoticed even by me.
James curled up under my chin and started to purr.
For now, Rorschach
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 2nd, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 11:16pm, Thursday
Been a long, uneventful day. Resisted urge to run like an idiot to library to check my new email. Ridiculous how quickly it can hook people. Have to remember that even in technological age, if no one is looking for you, you aren’t going to get an email. How I was going to find Dan was beyond me. I would have to ask Miss Dorian. She would know.
In my finery tonight. My true face is on. Never felt comfortable without it. Hated Walter disguise. Always felt so exposed. With my hat, coat and gloves, felt complete.
Wandering around Chinatown tonight. Veritably bustling with people. A few notice me, none approach. Not in the way they avoid Walter, with contempt, but in a different fearful way. I wondered if my encounter the other night might have leaked out to the other vermin on the street. I hoped so. These are very different people from the 80s, with very few fears. I hoped except for me. This city was the worst in the country for murder. Even above New York. It achieved filth beyond compare. I wanted to right that. I had to right that.
“Hey yo man, what’s with the mask?” A young drunk tourist stumbled around with a couple of girls hanging off him. He waived an arm to grab me. I deftly sidestepped him and continued to walk.
“Grrrrr.” I said softly. Strolled passed the Verizon Center. Apparently there was a hockey game tonight. Lots of revelry and lots of alcohol. I leave the fools to themselves. They weren’t my prey.
Turning the corner I wander a while looking for any kind of action. As good as my mask was, sometimes, I had to admit, it wasn’t always that easy to see out of it. Being Doctor Manhattan material made it better than simple cloth, however, still it took all my acumen to see through.
For a moment, thought of yesterday and of Shari at the hospital. She was so eager and it would seem that she made friends so easily. I wished she wouldn’t. It would get her in trouble. Could she suspect that Walter and Rorschach were one in the same? I doubted it. She seemed so unsuspecting when she made the comment about Rorschach’s appeal to her, with me sitting right next to her. No, she didn’t suspect.
I listened to the click of my heels on cobble stone echo against the alley walls. Dim lights streaked through the alley. I’d walked so much in thought I lost track of how far I’d gone. For a moment I looked up. A small group of three of men were at the other end of the alley, huddled. Hurm, this looked promising. Continued to walk forward, hands in pockets, when suddenly one looked up. “Hey, it’s the dude!” One shouted as one other them ran off.
“Hey are you the ass who ground my boy’s face in the cement two nights ago?” The man was quite large. He spat his words at me as he approached. “You have some nerve, comin’ in on our turf and expecting to push us. Who the hell are you anyway? A freak?” He raised a hand to shove me.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I said, a cold chill in my voice.
“Is that why you wear a mask, freak?” He puffed his chest. And he motioned to shove again.
“On second thought go ahead and try.” I turned to the side quickly as the large man tripped by me. I came around behind him and grabbed a hand full of short braided hair. I pulled him towards me and grabbed his hand and pulled it behind him. Released his hair and snatched an index finger before he could react and snapped it.
He howled. I didn’t let go.
“F*ck, Luther why the hell you just standing there?” Large man shouted between howls. The smaller man stood there, looking reluctant to fight. I held out a hand and motioned for him to come closer.
“Dealing drugs tonight?” I said, more a statement than a question.
The large man struggled till I wiggled the broken finger. Then he started crying. I was always so amazed at how the most threatening ones always broke down the most quickly.
“Just let him go!” Luther shouted, looking like he wanted to produce some kind of pointed device tucked in to his waist band.
“Who the hell are you, the cops? I spit on the cops.” And large man literally spat.
“Nope, not the cops. And I spit on them too.” I snapped another finger.
Luther screamed as he ran toward us, waiving a knife around. I released my hold on the large one just in enough time to swing a fist across Luther’s jaw. He went down, knocked out. A lucky punch.
“Heh, your friend has a glass jaw.” I said as I turned back over to the large man. He was hunched over and whimpering over his fingers.
Just then there was the sound of gun hammers cocking back.
“Freeze Mother F**ker!” One shouted.
“Hurm….Far from it.” I said, “Your gun fire will alert the authorities. You know that.” I said calmly.
“Screw that! Screw you!”
To be continued
Been a long, uneventful day. Resisted urge to run like an idiot to library to check my new email. Ridiculous how quickly it can hook people. Have to remember that even in technological age, if no one is looking for you, you aren’t going to get an email. How I was going to find Dan was beyond me. I would have to ask Miss Dorian. She would know.
In my finery tonight. My true face is on. Never felt comfortable without it. Hated Walter disguise. Always felt so exposed. With my hat, coat and gloves, felt complete.
Wandering around Chinatown tonight. Veritably bustling with people. A few notice me, none approach. Not in the way they avoid Walter, with contempt, but in a different fearful way. I wondered if my encounter the other night might have leaked out to the other vermin on the street. I hoped so. These are very different people from the 80s, with very few fears. I hoped except for me. This city was the worst in the country for murder. Even above New York. It achieved filth beyond compare. I wanted to right that. I had to right that.
“Hey yo man, what’s with the mask?” A young drunk tourist stumbled around with a couple of girls hanging off him. He waived an arm to grab me. I deftly sidestepped him and continued to walk.
“Grrrrr.” I said softly. Strolled passed the Verizon Center. Apparently there was a hockey game tonight. Lots of revelry and lots of alcohol. I leave the fools to themselves. They weren’t my prey.
Turning the corner I wander a while looking for any kind of action. As good as my mask was, sometimes, I had to admit, it wasn’t always that easy to see out of it. Being Doctor Manhattan material made it better than simple cloth, however, still it took all my acumen to see through.
For a moment, thought of yesterday and of Shari at the hospital. She was so eager and it would seem that she made friends so easily. I wished she wouldn’t. It would get her in trouble. Could she suspect that Walter and Rorschach were one in the same? I doubted it. She seemed so unsuspecting when she made the comment about Rorschach’s appeal to her, with me sitting right next to her. No, she didn’t suspect.
I listened to the click of my heels on cobble stone echo against the alley walls. Dim lights streaked through the alley. I’d walked so much in thought I lost track of how far I’d gone. For a moment I looked up. A small group of three of men were at the other end of the alley, huddled. Hurm, this looked promising. Continued to walk forward, hands in pockets, when suddenly one looked up. “Hey, it’s the dude!” One shouted as one other them ran off.
“Hey are you the ass who ground my boy’s face in the cement two nights ago?” The man was quite large. He spat his words at me as he approached. “You have some nerve, comin’ in on our turf and expecting to push us. Who the hell are you anyway? A freak?” He raised a hand to shove me.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I said, a cold chill in my voice.
“Is that why you wear a mask, freak?” He puffed his chest. And he motioned to shove again.
“On second thought go ahead and try.” I turned to the side quickly as the large man tripped by me. I came around behind him and grabbed a hand full of short braided hair. I pulled him towards me and grabbed his hand and pulled it behind him. Released his hair and snatched an index finger before he could react and snapped it.
He howled. I didn’t let go.
“F*ck, Luther why the hell you just standing there?” Large man shouted between howls. The smaller man stood there, looking reluctant to fight. I held out a hand and motioned for him to come closer.
“Dealing drugs tonight?” I said, more a statement than a question.
The large man struggled till I wiggled the broken finger. Then he started crying. I was always so amazed at how the most threatening ones always broke down the most quickly.
“Just let him go!” Luther shouted, looking like he wanted to produce some kind of pointed device tucked in to his waist band.
“Who the hell are you, the cops? I spit on the cops.” And large man literally spat.
“Nope, not the cops. And I spit on them too.” I snapped another finger.
Luther screamed as he ran toward us, waiving a knife around. I released my hold on the large one just in enough time to swing a fist across Luther’s jaw. He went down, knocked out. A lucky punch.
“Heh, your friend has a glass jaw.” I said as I turned back over to the large man. He was hunched over and whimpering over his fingers.
Just then there was the sound of gun hammers cocking back.
“Freeze Mother F**ker!” One shouted.
“Hurm….Far from it.” I said, “Your gun fire will alert the authorities. You know that.” I said calmly.
“Screw that! Screw you!”
To be continued
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Rorschach's Journal, April 1st, 2009
Rorschach’s Journal, 2:01pm, Wednesday
April Fool’s day. Origins middle ages. Transition from Julio Claudian calendar to the present day Gregorian calendar. In Julio Claudian calendar New Year would be celebrated at the end of March, but when the Gregorian calendar was adopted, New Year was moved to January 1st. Still all the same, it was an inconvenient festival serving only to torment innocent bystanders. Such as, those of us who walk around carrying a sign and picking through trash to survive.
Yes, still relishing the cash donation yesterday, but today getting nothing but blank coins, and taunts. Unpleasant. Hate April Fool’s Day. Hurm. Gave up the sign for the day, brought it back home hours ago. Picked up a quick cup of coffee at Average Joe's. No sign of Miss Dorian.
Metro has strict policy of no eating or drinking on the train. Commendable. The Metro system is nice, clean and orderly. Put a stopper pin that the coffee house provided for transport in the top of my coffee and carried with me on my trek. One could carry, one just couldn’t imbibe.
Made way to Georgetown hospital. Promised Shari I’d visit. No real desire to be in a hospital again, however, I did promise. And seeing as how she’d sent me money, it would only be right for me to go to see her.
Same as before, rode the elevator to the second floor and to her room. Knocked.
“Ah ha! Come on in!” Shari’s voice chimed out, sounding much more alive and youthful.
I wandered in, perhaps not looking or smelling as good as the other day, however, I had made another effort to clean up just a little when I had dropped my sign off at the apartment. “Hello Shari.” I said.
“Walter, oh thank God it’s you!” She said as she sat in one of the nearby reclining hospital chairs. “They got me in this thing then forgot me for the day!” She complained and then smiled.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said as I approached. “Hadn’t they been working with you to walk around a bit?”
“Ug, all morning. It’s not my feet that are hurting, it’s my shoulder!” She sighed, “But anyway, I’m glad you’re here, finally someone other than nurses and my lawyer!” She said as she smiled. “You’ve met him already! He told me! He’s just awesome. Got the best in the city, just like you told me.”
“Yes, um, Shari, I want to say that it was entirely unnecessary for you to have sent all that money, however I am grateful.”
“Well, I was a little afraid you might not take it, but you know, I know you aren’t a dummy either.” She laughed.
“You seem in better spirits today.” I sat down in a nearby chair. Denial?
“Well, to be honest, I’ve been forcing myself to be. They’ve had the therapist come over to talk with me. Gave me some coping tools. Also I’ll keep going after getting out of here.”
“Therapists.” I had a deep mistrust of therapists. My last encounter was one trying to ‘help’ me whilst in Sing Sing. Showed me a number of Rorschach cards.
“Tell me, Walter, what do you see.” He held up a card with inkblot
“Some nice flowers.”
I wondered if he made the connection at all. But knowing Doctor Long, it was unlikely. Lord knows I wanted to show him what I thought of his profession that day I escaped, but, he didn’t deserve to be punished. He was only trying to help, at least in his mind.
“Yoohoo!” Shari said with a little whistle and waiving her hand at me. “You there?”
“Oh, um sorry about that. Yes, a therapist would do you good.” I took a sip of my still warm coffee.
“You just drifted off there for a second. Are you ok?”
“Yes fine.”
Shari looked at me, “You must have had a hard life, Walter. I’m sorry.”
“No, no pity, let’s drop it.” I said, uncomfortable.
“OK, so anyway, I did get a hold of the Nun you were recommending.” She continued, realizing that she’d touched upon a raw nerve. “She was great. Found me a place to go till I get my affairs in order, ‘cause, I’m not staying in Mom’s old house. N.O.”
“I don’t blame you. You’d be in danger there.” I paused. She looked at me surprised, “The people you used to associate with……you aren’t still associating with them, are you?”
“Oh hell no! Not since that night when Rorschach pulled me out of there. God, I’m so thankful he did.” She paused, “Plus, he’s pretty hot too. But then you wouldn’t know, you’re a guy.”
Shari caught me in mid sip. I proceeded to choke on my coffee.
“Hey, careful there!” She said as she scooted to the edge of her seat.
I held up a hand, and swallowed down a sudden moment of laughter, not showing any of it. “No, no, just swallowed wrong.”
She eyed me a moment and continued, “So I check out tomorrow. I’d like to give you my address, just in case you need something, or you want to hang out or something.“ She handed me a piece of paper, the information already written down. “And Walter, if you don’t mind, what is your last name, so it’s not so hard finding you next time?”
I stopped at that. Didn’t really want to reveal it. Not that it was a name I identified with any longer, save for my affection for my father, but still what if her lawyer looked it up? The information would be fairly forthcoming. She’d then know the whole story, and I wanted to continue with my anonymity in this city. On the other hand I had used it at the library and Miss Dorian, at any time, could look it up herself. “Let’s just say it’s Walter K.”
She seemed a little disappointed, “Well then how will I contact you? I may need more advice. I know I’m 22 and should be a grown up but since my folks are gone and oh, you know a Nun is nice but she….” Shari grew flustered, “And the lawyer, well he gets paid but its all business….”
“Ok, my email address. You can email me. “ I said, trying to keep her from panicking. I wrote it down for her. She wrote hers down for me. ShariRW@yahoo.com.
“WKBeanjuice?” She laughed looking at what I wrote.
“Well, it’s a long story.” I stood, “Shari, drop me a line when you get settled, and thank you again for the money. It will help with my cat.” I stood, preparing to leave.
“Oh my God you have a cat? How cute, do you have a picture?”
“Er, no, he’s a brown striped cat. “ I sensed that Shari really wanted to bond in either a buddy way or a father daughter way, and I wasn’t prepared or equipped for either. Still, I wanted to remain friendly with her. It was good to have connections, perhaps I would need to contact her again one day. I put her address in my pocket. “I’ll be seeing you, Shari.” I said as I nodded and tossed my coffee cup in the trash, “Be careful, and don’t trust anyone.”
Shari looked a bit baffled as she stood out of her chair. “Ok Walter, I’ll write to you, let you know how things are going. You be careful too.” She said as she wobbled over to me and gave me a great big hug. I stood there a moment, motionless. Patted her good arm in a pathetic attempt at a hug back. Then turned and left the room.
Meeting with Shari felt a little off. Almost felt like April Fools was catching up to me again. Perhaps because she’d latched on to me somehow, for some reason. Terrible parents, terrible childhood. We really hadn’t known each other, or at least she hadn’t known me, all that well. She was a young woman trying to find herself and trying to find a fitting stable person in her life. Though I was perfectly stable, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to let anyone in so easily. Still unsure about trusting women, or anyone for that matter, but I was coming to terms with that.
Still though, Rorschach is hot. I chuckled to myself as I left the hospital entirely and hopped back on the metro to go to my favorite dumpster location for a little ‘shopping’.
For now, Rorschach
April Fool’s day. Origins middle ages. Transition from Julio Claudian calendar to the present day Gregorian calendar. In Julio Claudian calendar New Year would be celebrated at the end of March, but when the Gregorian calendar was adopted, New Year was moved to January 1st. Still all the same, it was an inconvenient festival serving only to torment innocent bystanders. Such as, those of us who walk around carrying a sign and picking through trash to survive.
Yes, still relishing the cash donation yesterday, but today getting nothing but blank coins, and taunts. Unpleasant. Hate April Fool’s Day. Hurm. Gave up the sign for the day, brought it back home hours ago. Picked up a quick cup of coffee at Average Joe's. No sign of Miss Dorian.
Metro has strict policy of no eating or drinking on the train. Commendable. The Metro system is nice, clean and orderly. Put a stopper pin that the coffee house provided for transport in the top of my coffee and carried with me on my trek. One could carry, one just couldn’t imbibe.
Made way to Georgetown hospital. Promised Shari I’d visit. No real desire to be in a hospital again, however, I did promise. And seeing as how she’d sent me money, it would only be right for me to go to see her.
Same as before, rode the elevator to the second floor and to her room. Knocked.
“Ah ha! Come on in!” Shari’s voice chimed out, sounding much more alive and youthful.
I wandered in, perhaps not looking or smelling as good as the other day, however, I had made another effort to clean up just a little when I had dropped my sign off at the apartment. “Hello Shari.” I said.
“Walter, oh thank God it’s you!” She said as she sat in one of the nearby reclining hospital chairs. “They got me in this thing then forgot me for the day!” She complained and then smiled.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said as I approached. “Hadn’t they been working with you to walk around a bit?”
“Ug, all morning. It’s not my feet that are hurting, it’s my shoulder!” She sighed, “But anyway, I’m glad you’re here, finally someone other than nurses and my lawyer!” She said as she smiled. “You’ve met him already! He told me! He’s just awesome. Got the best in the city, just like you told me.”
“Yes, um, Shari, I want to say that it was entirely unnecessary for you to have sent all that money, however I am grateful.”
“Well, I was a little afraid you might not take it, but you know, I know you aren’t a dummy either.” She laughed.
“You seem in better spirits today.” I sat down in a nearby chair. Denial?
“Well, to be honest, I’ve been forcing myself to be. They’ve had the therapist come over to talk with me. Gave me some coping tools. Also I’ll keep going after getting out of here.”
“Therapists.” I had a deep mistrust of therapists. My last encounter was one trying to ‘help’ me whilst in Sing Sing. Showed me a number of Rorschach cards.
“Tell me, Walter, what do you see.” He held up a card with inkblot
“Some nice flowers.”
I wondered if he made the connection at all. But knowing Doctor Long, it was unlikely. Lord knows I wanted to show him what I thought of his profession that day I escaped, but, he didn’t deserve to be punished. He was only trying to help, at least in his mind.
“Yoohoo!” Shari said with a little whistle and waiving her hand at me. “You there?”
“Oh, um sorry about that. Yes, a therapist would do you good.” I took a sip of my still warm coffee.
“You just drifted off there for a second. Are you ok?”
“Yes fine.”
Shari looked at me, “You must have had a hard life, Walter. I’m sorry.”
“No, no pity, let’s drop it.” I said, uncomfortable.
“OK, so anyway, I did get a hold of the Nun you were recommending.” She continued, realizing that she’d touched upon a raw nerve. “She was great. Found me a place to go till I get my affairs in order, ‘cause, I’m not staying in Mom’s old house. N.O.”
“I don’t blame you. You’d be in danger there.” I paused. She looked at me surprised, “The people you used to associate with……you aren’t still associating with them, are you?”
“Oh hell no! Not since that night when Rorschach pulled me out of there. God, I’m so thankful he did.” She paused, “Plus, he’s pretty hot too. But then you wouldn’t know, you’re a guy.”
Shari caught me in mid sip. I proceeded to choke on my coffee.
“Hey, careful there!” She said as she scooted to the edge of her seat.
I held up a hand, and swallowed down a sudden moment of laughter, not showing any of it. “No, no, just swallowed wrong.”
She eyed me a moment and continued, “So I check out tomorrow. I’d like to give you my address, just in case you need something, or you want to hang out or something.“ She handed me a piece of paper, the information already written down. “And Walter, if you don’t mind, what is your last name, so it’s not so hard finding you next time?”
I stopped at that. Didn’t really want to reveal it. Not that it was a name I identified with any longer, save for my affection for my father, but still what if her lawyer looked it up? The information would be fairly forthcoming. She’d then know the whole story, and I wanted to continue with my anonymity in this city. On the other hand I had used it at the library and Miss Dorian, at any time, could look it up herself. “Let’s just say it’s Walter K.”
She seemed a little disappointed, “Well then how will I contact you? I may need more advice. I know I’m 22 and should be a grown up but since my folks are gone and oh, you know a Nun is nice but she….” Shari grew flustered, “And the lawyer, well he gets paid but its all business….”
“Ok, my email address. You can email me. “ I said, trying to keep her from panicking. I wrote it down for her. She wrote hers down for me. ShariRW@yahoo.com.
“WKBeanjuice?” She laughed looking at what I wrote.
“Well, it’s a long story.” I stood, “Shari, drop me a line when you get settled, and thank you again for the money. It will help with my cat.” I stood, preparing to leave.
“Oh my God you have a cat? How cute, do you have a picture?”
“Er, no, he’s a brown striped cat. “ I sensed that Shari really wanted to bond in either a buddy way or a father daughter way, and I wasn’t prepared or equipped for either. Still, I wanted to remain friendly with her. It was good to have connections, perhaps I would need to contact her again one day. I put her address in my pocket. “I’ll be seeing you, Shari.” I said as I nodded and tossed my coffee cup in the trash, “Be careful, and don’t trust anyone.”
Shari looked a bit baffled as she stood out of her chair. “Ok Walter, I’ll write to you, let you know how things are going. You be careful too.” She said as she wobbled over to me and gave me a great big hug. I stood there a moment, motionless. Patted her good arm in a pathetic attempt at a hug back. Then turned and left the room.
Meeting with Shari felt a little off. Almost felt like April Fools was catching up to me again. Perhaps because she’d latched on to me somehow, for some reason. Terrible parents, terrible childhood. We really hadn’t known each other, or at least she hadn’t known me, all that well. She was a young woman trying to find herself and trying to find a fitting stable person in her life. Though I was perfectly stable, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to let anyone in so easily. Still unsure about trusting women, or anyone for that matter, but I was coming to terms with that.
Still though, Rorschach is hot. I chuckled to myself as I left the hospital entirely and hopped back on the metro to go to my favorite dumpster location for a little ‘shopping’.
For now, Rorschach
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