Rorschach's Journal, April 1st, 2009

Rorschach’s Journal, 2:01pm, Wednesday

April Fool’s day. Origins middle ages. Transition from Julio Claudian calendar to the present day Gregorian calendar. In Julio Claudian calendar New Year would be celebrated at the end of March, but when the Gregorian calendar was adopted, New Year was moved to January 1st. Still all the same, it was an inconvenient festival serving only to torment innocent bystanders. Such as, those of us who walk around carrying a sign and picking through trash to survive.

Yes, still relishing the cash donation yesterday, but today getting nothing but blank coins, and taunts. Unpleasant. Hate April Fool’s Day. Hurm. Gave up the sign for the day, brought it back home hours ago. Picked up a quick cup of coffee at Average Joe's. No sign of Miss Dorian.

Metro has strict policy of no eating or drinking on the train. Commendable. The Metro system is nice, clean and orderly. Put a stopper pin that the coffee house provided for transport in the top of my coffee and carried with me on my trek. One could carry, one just couldn’t imbibe.

Made way to Georgetown hospital. Promised Shari I’d visit. No real desire to be in a hospital again, however, I did promise. And seeing as how she’d sent me money, it would only be right for me to go to see her.

Same as before, rode the elevator to the second floor and to her room. Knocked.

“Ah ha! Come on in!” Shari’s voice chimed out, sounding much more alive and youthful.

I wandered in, perhaps not looking or smelling as good as the other day, however, I had made another effort to clean up just a little when I had dropped my sign off at the apartment. “Hello Shari.” I said.

“Walter, oh thank God it’s you!” She said as she sat in one of the nearby reclining hospital chairs. “They got me in this thing then forgot me for the day!” She complained and then smiled.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said as I approached. “Hadn’t they been working with you to walk around a bit?”

“Ug, all morning. It’s not my feet that are hurting, it’s my shoulder!” She sighed, “But anyway, I’m glad you’re here, finally someone other than nurses and my lawyer!” She said as she smiled. “You’ve met him already! He told me! He’s just awesome. Got the best in the city, just like you told me.”

“Yes, um, Shari, I want to say that it was entirely unnecessary for you to have sent all that money, however I am grateful.”

“Well, I was a little afraid you might not take it, but you know, I know you aren’t a dummy either.” She laughed.

“You seem in better spirits today.” I sat down in a nearby chair. Denial?

“Well, to be honest, I’ve been forcing myself to be. They’ve had the therapist come over to talk with me. Gave me some coping tools. Also I’ll keep going after getting out of here.”

“Therapists.” I had a deep mistrust of therapists. My last encounter was one trying to ‘help’ me whilst in Sing Sing. Showed me a number of Rorschach cards.

“Tell me, Walter, what do you see.” He held up a card with inkblot

“Some nice flowers.”

I wondered if he made the connection at all. But knowing Doctor Long, it was unlikely. Lord knows I wanted to show him what I thought of his profession that day I escaped, but, he didn’t deserve to be punished. He was only trying to help, at least in his mind.

“Yoohoo!” Shari said with a little whistle and waiving her hand at me. “You there?”

“Oh, um sorry about that. Yes, a therapist would do you good.” I took a sip of my still warm coffee.

“You just drifted off there for a second. Are you ok?”

“Yes fine.”

Shari looked at me, “You must have had a hard life, Walter. I’m sorry.”

“No, no pity, let’s drop it.” I said, uncomfortable.

“OK, so anyway, I did get a hold of the Nun you were recommending.” She continued, realizing that she’d touched upon a raw nerve. “She was great. Found me a place to go till I get my affairs in order, ‘cause, I’m not staying in Mom’s old house. N.O.”

“I don’t blame you. You’d be in danger there.” I paused. She looked at me surprised, “The people you used to associate with……you aren’t still associating with them, are you?”

“Oh hell no! Not since that night when Rorschach pulled me out of there. God, I’m so thankful he did.” She paused, “Plus, he’s pretty hot too. But then you wouldn’t know, you’re a guy.”

Shari caught me in mid sip. I proceeded to choke on my coffee.

“Hey, careful there!” She said as she scooted to the edge of her seat.

I held up a hand, and swallowed down a sudden moment of laughter, not showing any of it. “No, no, just swallowed wrong.”

She eyed me a moment and continued, “So I check out tomorrow. I’d like to give you my address, just in case you need something, or you want to hang out or something.“ She handed me a piece of paper, the information already written down. “And Walter, if you don’t mind, what is your last name, so it’s not so hard finding you next time?”

I stopped at that. Didn’t really want to reveal it. Not that it was a name I identified with any longer, save for my affection for my father, but still what if her lawyer looked it up? The information would be fairly forthcoming. She’d then know the whole story, and I wanted to continue with my anonymity in this city. On the other hand I had used it at the library and Miss Dorian, at any time, could look it up herself. “Let’s just say it’s Walter K.”

She seemed a little disappointed, “Well then how will I contact you? I may need more advice. I know I’m 22 and should be a grown up but since my folks are gone and oh, you know a Nun is nice but she….” Shari grew flustered, “And the lawyer, well he gets paid but its all business….”

“Ok, my email address. You can email me. “ I said, trying to keep her from panicking. I wrote it down for her. She wrote hers down for me. ShariRW@yahoo.com.

“WKBeanjuice?” She laughed looking at what I wrote.

“Well, it’s a long story.” I stood, “Shari, drop me a line when you get settled, and thank you again for the money. It will help with my cat.” I stood, preparing to leave.

“Oh my God you have a cat? How cute, do you have a picture?”

“Er, no, he’s a brown striped cat. “ I sensed that Shari really wanted to bond in either a buddy way or a father daughter way, and I wasn’t prepared or equipped for either. Still, I wanted to remain friendly with her. It was good to have connections, perhaps I would need to contact her again one day. I put her address in my pocket. “I’ll be seeing you, Shari.” I said as I nodded and tossed my coffee cup in the trash, “Be careful, and don’t trust anyone.”

Shari looked a bit baffled as she stood out of her chair. “Ok Walter, I’ll write to you, let you know how things are going. You be careful too.” She said as she wobbled over to me and gave me a great big hug. I stood there a moment, motionless. Patted her good arm in a pathetic attempt at a hug back. Then turned and left the room.

Meeting with Shari felt a little off. Almost felt like April Fools was catching up to me again. Perhaps because she’d latched on to me somehow, for some reason. Terrible parents, terrible childhood. We really hadn’t known each other, or at least she hadn’t known me, all that well. She was a young woman trying to find herself and trying to find a fitting stable person in her life. Though I was perfectly stable, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to let anyone in so easily. Still unsure about trusting women, or anyone for that matter, but I was coming to terms with that.

Still though, Rorschach is hot. I chuckled to myself as I left the hospital entirely and hopped back on the metro to go to my favorite dumpster location for a little ‘shopping’.

For now, Rorschach